


Operation: Memory

by Howlingdawn



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki is a Guardian, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Team Bonding, Team as Family, post-IW but written before IW came out so just ignore that whole movie, there'll be spoilers in my author notes though so just ignore those if you haven't seen the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-05-04 05:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 38,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14585940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/pseuds/Howlingdawn
Summary: The Guardians of the Galaxy, including Loki ever since the Infinity War, are assigned a fairly routine task by Nova Prime: Capture some escaped prisoners. But when the Guardians are the ones who end up captured, with Loki’s memories erased in the process, it turns into both a race against time for their lives, and an emotional battle to restore the mind of their newest family member.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, screw Infinity War, it's a fixed headcanon of mine that Loki joins the Guardians after Thanos is killed, because Loki and Gamora are COMPLETELY FINE. I've already got this all written up, so I'm aiming to post one chapter every week. Preferably the same day every week, but idk, Tuesday feels weird me (I just really, really needed to start posting this, I've had it finished for weeks now), so chapter 2 might have either a shorter or longer wait than the rest.
> 
> Anyways, I'm excited to finally start sharing this, so I hope you guys enjoy!

Loki sat at the _Milano_ 's table, holding his book with one hand and eating Lucky Charms with the other, having pushed the others' dirty dishes aside to make room for his bowl. Someone – probably Peter – had crossed out "Lucky" and written "Loki" instead, adding horns to the leprechaun. It happened to every box they picked up, and Loki had stopped fighting it months ago. At least it was good, as far as human cereals went. A decent early morning meal when the insomnia struck.

Lumbering footsteps coming down the stairs announced Peter's arrival. "Morning," the leader greeted through a yawn, heading straight for the coffee machine. "God, how do you wake up this early all the time?"

"Practice," Loki replied, flipping the page.

Peter filled his mug and came to sit opposite Loki, cradling its warmth in both hands. Loki's nose wrinkled at the acrid scent, but he said nothing as Peter sipped at it, closing his eyes as he savored the caffeine as if it held the secrets of the universe. He set it down when it was half empty, still cradling it, and finally brought himself to look at Loki's set-up.

" _Please_ tell me you didn't just finish off our last box of those," he asked in dismay.

Unwilling to put either his book or his spoon down, Loki shook the box with a little telekinesis. "…And if I did?"

"Damn it," Peter groaned, looking around the cluttered eating area. "There go my breakfast plans."

Loki picked up a spoonful and slowly ate it, holding eye contact with Peter the whole time, smirking at the longing in the human's gaze. "Relax, Peter, there's another box in the cabinet."

"Yes!" Peter exclaimed, jumping up to get his own bowl. Loki shook his head, returning to his book to savor the last moments of peace before his energy fully kicked in.

Which it did when Peter was about halfway through his breakfast. "So, what kept you up this time?"

"Who says I was kept up?"

"Because when you actually fall asleep, you're up last – well, besides Groot – and you're grumpy as hell that we woke you up," Peter responded through a mouthful of cereal.

"Fair point," Loki conceded. He shrugged a little, setting his book down. "I just miss Thor and Val a little more than usual tonight."

"Ah," Peter said. "I get that. I miss them, too. I mean, not like you do, but- yeah, I wish we could get over there more."

"Yeah," Loki agreed quietly. They only really made it back there for the annual Christmas party, and another random time or two.

"It's not a special occasion, is it?" Peter checked suddenly.

"No," Loki assured him. "We've just been out of communications range for a few weeks now."

"Right," Peter realized. "Well, we're just about done with this planet, so we can turn around later today, if you want."

"Thank you," Loki said. "I'd like that."

"Consider it done, then, buddy," Peter decided, holding his hand out for a fistbump. Loki obliged, flaring his fingers and making the little _whoosh_ sound effect as they pulled back. "I still can't believe I actually convinced you to do that."

Loki aimed his spoon at him. "If you tell anyone-"

Peter arched an eyebrow. "Are you threatening me with a spoon?"

"Are you testing me?"

"…No."

"Excellent."

They shared a laugh, then returned their attention to their breakfasts. Loki finished off his last few mouthfuls, pushing the bowl aside and asking, "So, why are _you_ awake so early? You never get up if Gamora's still in bed."

Peter sighed, setting his fork down with a gentle _clink_. "I dunno, man. My home is here, with Gamora and Groot and the others, but… I guess I'm a little homesick tonight, too."

"Perhaps we should just go back to Earth entirely," Loki suggested wryly. "We could all use a vacation anyway."

"Ye-"

The monitor beeped, Nova Prime's image popping up underneath the flashing words "Incoming call." Peter wiped his mouth on his sleeve and leaned back to press answer, swinging the screen around to face them. "Greetings from the _Milano._ You're speaking with Star-Lord."

"And Loki," Loki added, rolling his eyes at Peter.

 _"Yes, I can see that,"_ she said with faint amusement. _"You don't have to answer the phone as Star-Lord every time, Mr. Quill."_

"I beg to differ."

Loki shoved his shoulder. "Stop begging and let her talk."

"Ok, ok, sheesh, no need to be so pushy," Peter grumbled, rubbing his shoulder. "Ow."

"Oh please, I barely touched you."

"You-"

 _"Boys,"_ Nova Prime interrupted, her smile genuinely amused with a side of exasperation.

"Sorry," they apologized together, straightening up and giving their full attention to the screen. "What's the news?"

She sighed heavily. _"I know I promised you some free time after your latest mission, at least from missions on our behalf, but I'm afraid there's been a small prison break."_

"How small?" Loki asked.

_"Only three prisoners. However, all three are extremely dangerous women, and I would like your team to track them down. Quickly. You'll be compensated handsomely, of course. Will you do it?"_

"Yeah, of course," Peter answered. "Just send us the deets."

_"Already on their way. Thank you, Guardians. Nova Prime out."_

The call ended. Loki and Peter swung out of their seats, moving to the stairs. "I guess Earth'll have to wait," Peter said. "Time to wake the others."

They paused suddenly. Exchanged a glance. Then, simultaneously, they blurted, "You get Rocket!"

And then they were fighting their way upstairs, struggling to _not_ get scratched by an angry raccoon.

\-----

Twenty minutes later, the whole team was grouped around the table. Mantis and Groot sat next to each other, the tree playing one of his videogames – thankfully with the sound muted this time. Gamora and Drax sat opposite them, with Rocket at the head of the table. Loki was at the other end, leaning on the back of the chair. Peter stood next to the screen, his hand now scratched up, the fresh injuries on display as he pointed out the information.

"Three women escaped from Xandar's maximum security prison yesterday at about midnight," he was explaining. "They killed the warden and twenty guards, then disappeared. After conducting a thorough planetwide search, the Nova Corps determined they weren't on Xandar, nor any of the nearby inhabited planets, which is when we were called. Our job is to recapture them, for which we're gonna get paid a shipload of units."

"That sounds quite simple," Drax remarked, pleased.

"Who are they?" Gamora asked.

Peter huffed at Drax, perpetually annoyed that he didn't understand the concept of _Don't jinx us,_ flicking a finger across the screen to bring up the first set of images. It was a woman with navy blue skin and elegantly styled sky blue hair, her unnaturally bright green eyes sparking with a disdainful leer even in a mugshot. She'd twisted her bland orange prison outfit into something skintight and alluring, the shirt drawn up and tied off in a bow on one side, exposing a piece of immaculate skin over defined abdominal muscles.

"Damn," Rocket commented. "I ain't never seen someone look good in prison orange."

Peter started to make an appreciative noise, froze with a glance at Gamora, and quickly swiped the images away, bringing up data instead. "Says she's Kutral, a Moarian. Those guys can move real fast, right?"

"Top speed of a hundred miles an hour in short bursts," Loki replied. "Not quite Quicksilver, but enough to give us problems."

"Wonderful," Peter sighed. "Says here she's… an art thief. They locked up an art thief with a bunch of mass murderers and terrorists? I'm- Oh! Never mind. Turns out she murdered a bunch of people to steal that art. Her style is quick and clean, in and out with minimal literal bloodshed, but she murdered even when she didn't have to. Lovely."

He scrolled again, revealing next a stocky, heavily muscled maroon woman. She'd torn off her sleeves, revealing a mess of battle scars and tattoos that extended beneath her shirt, reemerging at her neckline and twining up to cover her bald head. She glared at the camera with beady yellow eyes and sported clenched fists in every photo. She just earned a nervous fidget from Mantis.

"Bodyguard?" Loki guessed.

"Bingo," Peter confirmed, swiping again. "Erebu, a Jestridean, bodyguard and hitwoman for hire. Not clean kills, either, like her new buddy Kutral. Her victims were found missing… uh…" He gulped a little. "…parts."

Even Groot looked up at that, disgust and horror evident on his twiggy teen face.

"And she's got some Asgardian-level strength. Lovely. Moving on," Peter said quickly. The third woman was catlike in appearance, with large pointed ears atop her head, her body covered in brown fur. Her face was a mess of blackened scars, one eye socket dark and sealed shut. Her remaining eye was red, its pupil a creepy slit, her snarling mouth exposing sharp and yellowed teeth. A thick tail twined around one of her legs.

"She looks familiar," Loki realized aloud, slowly, trying to figure out why.

Peter blinked, moving along to look at her data. "Beb, a Bleloter. Says she's-"

"My sister," Gamora whispered, looking back at Loki.

"Crap," Rocket muttered.

Loki clenched the chair, its metal squealing as it bent beneath his grip. He forced himself to let go of it, straightening up and crossing his arms tightly instead. Her cackles echoed in his ears, her voice a sickening purr as he screamed under her touch, her magic scorching through him as her claws trailed almost seductively down his exposed skin before sinking in abruptly, stabbing through skin and muscle down to the bone, ripping, tearing, healing as she went so she could keep going-

He gasped in a breath, the memories shoved away by a different mind. Loki slammed back into the present, stumbling backwards, saved from falling by Drax's steady hand. Mantis clutched his hands in hers, her antennae gradually dimming as Loki collected himself.

"Better?" she asked quietly, trembling, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Loki yanked his hands away, shoving aside Drax for good measure. "Yes," he muttered, swiping at his own tear. Mantis backed away, sitting back down quickly, her head ducked. Drax glared at him a moment before bending over her, giving the top of her head a light kiss as he checked on her in a soft voice.

"Loki," Gamora said, her voice low in rebuke, but quiet in understanding.

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes, fighting back the unwanted images. "Sorry."

"I take it that was from the year you don't talk about," Peter surmised, banishing anything about her from the screen.

"Part of it," Gamora answered when Loki didn't. "Though her usefulness to Thanos ended when Loki got his revenge."

Peter's eyebrows flew towards his hairline. "You- you did that to her face?"

Loki nodded, his hands dropping, leaving colorful spots in his vision, and twisting together as he stumbled through an explanation. "Yes. I… she, um, she used… She was pulled in when Thanos realized I'm Jotun, and Bleloters have exceptionally high body temperatures and most of their magical strength lies in… in manipulating heat. I don't remember much, but I guess one day I just… snapped, turned Jotun, and grabbed her face and didn't let go."

"I am Groot," the tree gasped.

"Language!" Rocket scolded.

Gamora got up, carefully approached Loki, rested a hand on his elbow. "Are you all right to do this mission?"

Loki stared for a moment, voice lost in his throat. For the first time in years, he looked into her brown eyes and saw an enemy, the woman who had rounded him up and thrown him back into his cell after he lost control. Her grip was light as a feather, but it felt like a cage, bruising strength coldly preparing to shove him back into the darkness he now lived in.

"Loki?" Peter asked, his concerned tone rooting Loki back in the present.

Still, he shifted his arm away from Gamora. "I can do it."

Gamora backed up a step, eyes narrowing. "Loki-"

"I said I'm fine," he snapped, beginning to turn away. "I'll be in my quarters. Alone. Just tell me when I'm needed."

With that, he hurried away, barely slamming his door behind him before the familiar tears started flowing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I'm sticking with every Tuesday for this fic. Enjoy!

"Loki?" Peter called quietly from the hall a few hours later.

He started, gaze jerking away from the stars visible out of the porthole. It swept over his shadowy and tidy quarters, landing on a door with a broken lock. Loki tried to summon the fire to glare through it, but having to wipe away a few fresh tears quenched any spark he might've found. He sat up, setting his sketchbook down on his nightstand as he started to get up.

"Are we there yet?" Loki asked, cursing his voice's wobble, suddenly realizing he didn't know where "there" was.

"No."

_Damn,_ he sighed to himself, torn between relief and disappointment. "Then go away."

"Loki, I'm coming in whether you like it or not."

Cloaking his reddened eyes and damp cheeks, Loki opened the door with a flick of the wrist. Peter almost fell into the room, grabbing the doorframe at the last second and straightening up, casually leaning on it as if that was exactly what he'd meant to do. A smirk tugged at the corner of Loki's mouth, lending him a little strength to steady his voice.

"Where are we going?"

"We decided on Ascorix," Peter answered, relaxing his stance a little. "It's a haven for groups like the Ravagers, disgusting and lawless and all that. It's an easy place to hide."

"You sound like you know that from experience."

Peter shrugged, stepping inside and quietly shutting the door behind him. "I was a Ravager for a long time. Got into more than a few scrapes."

"Mhm," Loki said vaguely, warily scooting back into the corner, nudging aside his dark green blankets to get more comfortable.

Peter settled on the other end of the bed, hands clasped as he looked out the porthole. "No one would judge you for backing out of this," he finally said. "We've all got our own traumas, our own ghosts to avoid."

"She's a threat, and she needs to be neutralized," Loki answered stiffly.

"So was Ego," Peter countered, "and if they hadn't needed my own Celestial abilities to counter his, those people out there would have let me bail in a heartbeat."

"Beb's a sorcerer. I'm a sorcerer. Therefore, you need me."

"We've held our own against sorcerers before, you know," Peter pointed out, gaze flicking to Loki and away again.

Loki clenched his jaw. "So you don't need me."

"No! No, god, Loki, I didn't mean-" Peter paused, running a hand through his hair. "Look, it's my job to protect the team. And that includes making sure everybody's prepared to fight. If you're gonna spazz out in the field, putting yourself and the others at risk, then you've gotta stay put."

"I won't," Loki stated.

Peter finally looked at him and held the eye contact, stern but not unkind. "Are you sure?"

"I was simply unprepared in the meeting. I won't be next time."

Peter stayed silent for a moment, then stood with a sigh. "All right, buddy, I'm trusting ya here. With our family's lives. Be ready to fight your nightmares for them in six hours."

He left, earning a reproachful "I am Groot!" from the startled teen pressing his ear against the door. Peter's apology and subsequent warning about eavesdropping were muffled by the closing door.

Loki's gaze finally wavered, darting to the sketchbook on his nightstand, opened to a picture of the seven teammates snacking and laughing together in a colorful garden on a sunny day.

\-----

As they strode deeper into Ascorix's capital, Loki's lip curled upon realizing Peter had spoken the truth – it was truly _disgusting._ Smog coated the sky, blocking out sunlight, tall, rickety buildings ascending into its depths. It scraped his throat, stung his eyes, and the city's reek only made him cough and his eyes water more. Trash crunched underfoot, huge six-legged rodents scampering amongst it. Ragged beggars and scowling criminals lined the streets, the largest of which were hardly more than alleyways. Vendors tried to catch their elbows, shoving ridiculously overpriced merchandise into their faces.

"Stick close," Peter had warned as they disembarked, leaving the _Milano_ cloaked in a clearing half a mile outside of the city. Loki had no intention of disobeying that, gripping Groot's shoulder to keep him just ahead and inside of the shield formed by the five eldest Guardians. Rocket walked on Groot's left, just where Loki had to watch his step to avoid squashing his tail. Peter and Gamora led, arms nearly brushing, walking just in front of Groot and Mantis. Drax was on Mantis's other side, doing the same thing for her that Loki was doing for Groot. She looked appreciative, her wide eyes darting around nervously, whereas Groot just looked irritated.

"Guys," Peter called to grab their attention, jerking his head towards an empty alcove between two apartment buildings. They piled into it, Loki and Drax quickly steering Groot and Mantis to the back.

"Look, much as I hate to do this," Peter started in a murmur, watching the street, "we've gotta split up. This place is huge."

"Agreed," Rocket said, baring his teeth at a nosey passerby. She skittered along as the other Guardians nodded their own agreement. "I've got an idea of who to go to."

"Same here. All right, Rocket, you go with Drax and Groot. Gamora, Mantis, Loki, you're with me. We meet back at the ship in an hour, before it gets dark. Well, darker. Sound good?"

"Yes," Drax said, gesturing Rocket and Groot ahead of them. Then he followed, looming protectively over their tiniest teammates.

"I may know a guy," Peter whispered, glancing up and down the street. "Still owes me a favor or two from my Ravager days. He's this way, I think."

He struck out, Gamora on his tail, one hand never far from her dagger. Mantis followed, and Loki rested a light hand on her back, glaring down anyone who looked at her like a piece of meat for sale. She smiled up at him, then wavered, appearing to remember his earlier hostility.

"I didn't mean to hurt you earlier," he murmured.

Her smile strengthened again. "I understand. Most do not like to be touched in such a state. But you seemed- I believed-"

"Hey, Mantis, can I speak with Loki?" Gamora requested, dropping back a little.

"Of course," Mantis said, hurrying to catch up to Peter.

Without preamble, Gamora asked, "Are you scared of me?"

"What?" Loki exclaimed, looking down at her incredulously. "No-"

"I saw your face, back in the dining room when I touched you," she overrode his attempt at a denial. "It was the same as it was when I still worked for Thanos."

"Gamora, I was having a flashback-induced panic attack-"

"It's not just that," she interrupted, rushing, as if she'd been working up the nerve to say this for a while. "If I'm in the room, you stand where you can see me. You're always closer to the exit. You flinch when I surprise you-"

"I flinch when anyone surprises me-"

"Don't brush this off!" she snapped. She stopped abruptly, catching his elbow again to make him stop with her. After a breath, during which she lost her frustration but not her urgency, she went on, "Maybe it's not even conscious, but I just- I need to know, Loki. Are you scared of me?"

He opened his mouth, ready to deny it, but nothing came out. She was gentle and loving, he knew that, ready to take care of her small, odd, highly dysfunctional family however she could. But it was so easy, too easy, to look at her familiar features, those distinctive facial markings and bicolored hair, and remember the tail end of a couple hundred torture sessions, remember the haze of pain and fear as she often literally dragged him back to the cramped cell designed specifically to weaken him both physically and mentally.

"I…"

"Hey! Loki, Gam, get up here!"

Loki snapped his mouth shut, obediently jogging back to Peter's side. Gamora passed him, giving him a wounded look that told him exactly how she had interpreted his silence. She wrapped one arm around Mantis and guided her forward, Loki's heart sinking with every movement.

"What did you do?" Peter whispered.

Loki just ducked his head and kept walking in silence.

Finally, in a less crowded part of the city, Peter stopped in front of a store. Unlike most of the drab buildings, it had been painted bright red, though the paint was chipping away, revealing the old grey stone beneath. Colorful statues of various animals lined the sills of the windows on either side of the black door. A neon sign labeled the store _Fort Knaux._

"Is he human?" Loki asked, recognizing the pun for what it was.

"Hell no, I gave him the idea," Peter replied, glancing up at the sign as if noticing it for the first time. "Good catch, though. For an Asgardian."

Loki pursed his lips, then followed the other three into the shop. Outside, it had seemed larger than most they had passed, but it was so crowded with assorted merchandise that it felt pathetically tiny. They were forced into single file, Loki's hips bumping tables on both sides. A horrendous mix of odors, emanating from candles and perfume samples and who knew what else, assaulted his nose, almost making him want to go back outside. The array of colors beneath near-blinding overhead lights was no better, forcing him into a squint. But at least it was quiet.

At the back was a desk as cluttered as the store, sporting displays of candies and useless baubles. A young, bored Xandarian boy with a rainbow mohawk and studs all over his pink leather leaned on the desk, barely glancing up from his phone as they entered.

"Hiya, kid," Peter greeted cheerfully. "Where's ole Knauxo?"

"I ain't tellin' ya nothin' unless ya buy," he deadpanned.

Peter crossed his arms. "Kid. Didn't he tell you about me? Star-Lord?"

"Nope."

"Well, that's just offensive," Peter muttered. Gamora patted his shoulder. "Look, just go back there and tell him Quilly's here."

"Buy somethin'."

"Kid-"

Loki grabbed the nearest thing, which turned out to be a little plush bilgesnipe. "Peter, catch," he warned, tossing him the toy.

Peter eyed it. "Seriously?"

"Just buy it."

He shrugged. "How much for this little dude?"

The kid squinted at it. "A hundred units."

"A hundred-" Peter spluttered. "That's highway robbery!"

"What is a highway?" Mantis asked.

"Just pay the kid, Peter," Loki sighed. "I'll pay you back."

"You sure? I mean, you could probably get something better-"

"Peter."

"All right, all right," Peter acquiesced, digging into his knapsack and plopping payment down onto the desk. "I will count that change, kid, so don't try anything."

"Don't try anything," the kid mocked under his breath, digging through the register and sliding some units back to Peter. "I'll be back," he said, disappearing rapidly into the back room.

Peter turned, tossed the toy back to Loki. "Let's hope that was worth it."

Loki shrugged, tucking it into a pocket inside his trench coat. "Val will like it."

The kid reappeared, resuming his original position. "The four of ya can go back."

"Good riddance," Peter muttered, leading them through the door.

The lights were mostly off in the new room, except right above them, but thank the gods there was room to spread out. Loki moved to the edge of the light, blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden darkness, squinting into it to try to make out more than vague shelves.

A man materialized from it suddenly, startling Loki. Peter was right – no way was he human. His skin was sallow yellow with dirty green stripes, his black hair straggly, half his teeth either gold or missing. He wore a nice suit though, the suit of a proper businessman, which Loki highly doubted he actually was. He grinned at Peter, but it looked more like a snarl.

"Quilly!" he exclaimed, going in for an elaborate handshake that Peter returned smoothly. "Long time, no see kiddo."

"Good to see you too, Knauxo," Peter greeted, smiling. "But this ain't a social call."

"Never is," Knaux sighed, glancing furtively behind him. Loki narrowed his eyes at the shopkeeper, noticing Gamora shifting between Knaux and Mantis. They exchanged a glance. Gamora reached out, resting her hand over Peter's in what could be seen as a lover's touch, but Loki had seen them use as a subtle warning many times before.

Peter squeezed her hand briefly before letting go, pulling out the tablet with the escapees' pictures on it. "I've gotta be quick, unfortunately. Have you seen any of these women?"

"I have," Knaux answered. "Just a couple minutes ago, in fact."

"Sweet. I don't suppose you could tell us where-"

_He didn't look at the pictures,_ Loki realized. He looked back into the shadows. _Was that movement? No. Maybe. Wait-_ that _was definitely-_

"Everybody down!" he shouted, throwing up a hand to form a shield.

And suddenly Beb was in front of him, a snarl twisting her scarred face. She grabbed him by the throat, her heat searing him through the fur, her clawtips digging into his flesh. Loki forgot about the others, forgot even to fight, seeing only the terrifying rage in her blood red eye. Panic surged through him, but the phantom feeling of chains long gone locked him in place.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," she hissed.

She slammed her other palm into his forehead. Red magic flared from her hand, blinding Loki to everything else.

Then the world went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't think I'd get this posted on time tbh. I accidentally deleted all my Marvel fics, had to give my laptop up for a few days to get most of them back, and still this fic didn't get recovered. Luckily I had an unedited draft in my sent files, so I should still be able to keep this perfectly on schedule.

"I am Groot."

"Yes, I _know_ they're supposed to be back!" Rocket said, tail whipping back and forth as he paced along the cockpit. The tree sat in the passenger seat, his game off and lying in his lap, while Drax was in the co-pilot's seat, hands clasped tightly as he watched silently out the window.

_They ain't dead, are they?_ Rocket found himself wondering.

_No, they ain't allowed to be dead. I'll kill 'em if they are._

"I am Groot," he muttered.

"Oh, screw this," Rocket muttered, jumping into the pilot's seat. He jabbed the comms button. "Rocket to Quill."

Static.

_Aw crap._

"Rocket to Gamora," he tried.

More static.

"Rocket to Loki. Rocket to Mantis. Any of you, can you hear me?" he demanded.

Only crackling static answered him.

"They were not merely delayed, were they?" Drax said direly, speaking for the first time in half an hour.

Rocket brought up the scanners, inputting their communicator signals. It worked for a minute, filtering through the mess of competing signals from the massive city, before four dots finally showed up, clustered tightly together on a far edge. Groot and Drax leaned in, peering at the readings.

"I am Groot!"

Rocket glanced up at the sky, heart sinking at its darkness. "We can't go get them," he decided, shaking his head. "This city is dangerous enough by day, let alone trekking through half of it in the dead of night. No, we'll have to wait until morning."

"I am Groot!" he pressed angrily.

"Rocket is correct," Drax told him, settling back to resume his vigil. "We must wait, lest we put ourselves in unnecessary danger in the process of locating them. They would not desire that."

"I am Groot," Groot conceded wearily, shoulders slumping.

Rocket hopped back down. "Come on, Groot, we should get some rest. Drax, I'll be up in a couple hours to watch for 'em."

Drax inclined his head in acknowledgement. Rocket led Groot to his quarters, making sure the teen actually went inside instead of running off to do something impulsive and reckless. Groot paused outside the door. "I am Groot," he said with forced brightness.

Rocket smiled for Groot's benefit. "Yeah. At least those fools have got each other."

\-----

Gamora woke with a start, hand flying instinctively to her holster. Her fingers scraped against rough stone floor on their way, before closing around empty air. She checked the other one, which she had worn specially for this planet, and came up empty there too.

"Morning, Gammy," Peter greeted suddenly from her right. "At least, I think it's morning. Could still be night."

She started to sit up, freezing with a groan as pain flared in her chest. Then Peter was helping her, his touch gentle as he leaned her back against the wall. He left his arm around her shoulders, holding her to him. She pressed into his warmth, realizing then that the air was just cold enough to be uncomfortable as she looked around.

They were in a cell located in a cave, she assumed, based on the rough reddish-brown walls and arching roof. One wall was made of bars, a corridor stretching beyond her view with an empty cell across the way, the area lit by yellow-tinged bars on the ceiling outside the cell. She and Peter were at one end of their new half-sphere room. A couple yards away, Loki was sprawled on his back, still unconscious, watched over by Mantis. There were cuts on his neck, stark red holes dug into his skin. Thick cuffs bound his wrists, a glowing green line running around each bracelet.

_Magic-suppressing cuffs. Great._

"What happened?" she asked, rubbing at the stinging ache in her chest.

"Good ole Knauxo got paid to let us get ambushed," Peter answered dryly. "I've known that idiot since I was fifteen, and he sells me out _now_?"

"Are you really surprised?" Gamora asked.

"…No."

"And…?" she prompted when he didn't resume the story.

"Oh, right," he said. "Um, you got hit first, stunner blast to the chest. Then Mantis. They kept me conscious long enough for Knauxo to explain the 'unfortunate circumstances.'"

Gamora glanced at Loki. Between his magic and Asgardian physiology, he was never out longer than the rest of them. "And Loki?"

"Beb," Peter growled. "She went straight for him. Hit him with some sort of spell. Mantis tried to wake him up, but whatever she did…" He shook his head. "All Mantis got from him was pain and terror. Took her fifteen minutes to calm down."

Gamora bit her lip, remembering their last conversation.

" _Maybe it's not even conscious, but I just- I need to know, Loki. Are you scared of me?"_

_Loki just looked at her in silence, his mouth open but his silver tongue failing him. The real answer was in his eyes, in the guilt and memories swimming in their depths. There was pain there, too, but whether it was for himself or for hurting her, she couldn't tell._

_"I…"_

Movement distracted her, tugging her back to the present. Loki rolled his head with a moan, eyes clenching shut. Slowly, he dragged his limbs towards his torso, legs folding up while he ran his hands over himself, as if checking for injuries. Mantis blinked, as if coming out of her mind herself, and leaned over him, resting a ginger hand on his shoulder. "Loki?"

He bolted upright, narrowly missing her head with his own. Mantis jerked back, and Gamora reached for her, hooking a reassuring hand around her elbow. Loki scrambled away, pressing back against the wall, holding one hand out as if that would stop them from coming closer. "What the hell?" he rasped.

"We're as lost as you are, buddy," Peter pointed out.

" _Buddy_?" Loki echoed dubiously.

"Yeah… What, do you not like that? Cause I've been calling you that for, like, two years, so it's a little late to protest."

"Two years?"

Gamora exchanged a glance with the other two. "Loki-"

Loki finally looked at her. And he was on his feet in a heartbeat, pointing with a trembling finger. " _You._ You stay the _hell_ away from me."

Instinct drove Gamora to stand as well, Peter and Mantis copying. Gamora held her hands out. "I understand that our last conversation didn't exactly end well, but-"

"Last conversation?"

"Ok, is there an echo in here or something?" Peter half-joked. "Loki, what's the matter?"

"Look," Loki explained. "I don't know what _any_ of you are talking about. Last time I saw her, she was dragging me back to my cell, which- this isn't it. Where the hell are we?"

Horrified comprehension suddenly dawned on Gamora. "Loki," she said slowly, careful to keep any hint if hardness from her voice, "what's the last thing that happened to you on Asgard?"

Mantis gasped. Peter just glanced at Gamora, confused.

"You should know that, daughter of Thanos," Loki snapped.

"Tell us anyway. Please," Mantis requested.

Maybe it was the unexpectedness of the question, or the fact that Mantis was utterly unthreatening, but he did. "I dropped myself off the Rainbow Bridge. And my family thinks I'm dead."

"Oh," Peter said, comprehension finally hitting him too. "Well. F-"

\-----

When morning came, Rocket, Drax, and Groot marched out of the _Milano_ and back into the city. Today, nobody bothered them. Between Groot's determined expression, Rocket's snarl, and Drax's drawn daggers on full display, no one had the guts. So the trio marched through the streets uninterrupted, following Rocket's handheld tracker to the source of the signals.

"Fort Knaux," Drax read aloud when Rocket stopped and pointed at it. "Has Peter not mentioned a Fort Knaux before?"

"He has," Rocket confirmed, "so we must be in the right place."

_Maybe they just bunked here for the night,_ he found himself hoping irrationally.

"I am Groot!" he demanded, gesturing at the door.

In response, Drax kicked it down.

A Xandarian boy jumped back so hard, he knocked merchandise off two tables, some clattering to the floor while others started a domino affect across the tables. Drax stormed towards him, broad hips worsening the damage as he beelined for the boy. He drew a blaster with fumbling hands, moving back rapidly. Drax knocked it aside as if he were batting a fly, trapping the boy against the desk and holding one dagger in front of his throat.

The boy bent over the desk, trying to escape the blade's edge. "Y-you can't- can't be here. We're- we're closed."

Groot lashed out with a vine, grabbing the boy's hand as it reached for a panic button hidden beneath the desk. "I am Groot," he snarled.

Rocket jumped up onto a table, scattering more merchandise with a lash of his tail. He aimed his own gun at the kid. "Where are our friends?"

"I- I don't know-"

"Answer him," Drax hissed, pressing the blade closer. The kid had just enough wiggle room to gulp.

"I don't!" he cried. Literally, there were tears now falling from his eyes. "I don't know! I- I- I told Mr. Knaux they were here, j-just like he asked, and- and I never saw 'em again!"

"I am Groot," he hissed, glaring up at the boy.

"I- I swear!"

"I believe you, kid," Rocket said. "So, is Knaux here?"

"M-mr.- Mr. Knaux!" the boy called in response. He pointed over his shoulder with his free hand.

The door flew open, slamming into the wall as a very drunk yellow-and-green man stumbled out. "Wha' is i', boy?"

He noticed the Guardians too late. His eyes widened. He tried to dart back inside the back room. Rocket leapt from the table, landing on the man's back and sinking his claws in, grabbing a fistful of hair and pressing the gun to his temple.

"Where's Quill?" he hissed, low and threatening.

The man slapped at him, but his drunkenness threw him off, and he missed Rocket by a longshot. "I- I dunno."

Rocket dug his claws in harder. "I ain't askin' again."

"I'm tellin' the truth! I sold 'im out, yeah, bu' I dunno where those women took 'im an' his friends."

"What women?" Drax demanded.

"Beb, Kutral, and Erebu. Ugly, tha' one. Erebu. And Beb's jus' a meanie. Really had i' in for some dude named Loki."

Rocket whipped around to meet the others' gazes. Drax and Groot backed off the boy, and he fled with a wail, crying for his mother. Rocket turned back to Knaux. "You. You're gonna us _everything_ that might be even _slightly_ important. _Everything._ And I want their communicators back."

"Rocket," Drax complained.

"What?" he said defensively. "I built those things, I want 'em back!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of May! This one's where the whump really starts

"What? No. No, that's not possible," Loki protested.

Peter smiled wryly, settled on the floor again. Mantis was next to him, Gamora tucked behind the pair, everyone's hands in plain view. Loki sat opposite them, staring, rubbing his head, struggling to comprehend the tale of the last few years.

"Well, you better believe it, buddy," Peter said. "Cause your brother's on Earth, waiting for you."

That had seemed the best angle to use, focusing on everything that had happened with Thor as an introduction to him winding up traveling the galaxy saving people with a group of ex-criminals. Gamora and Mantis hadn't stopped him, at least. Well, Gamora hadn't said anything since they realized Loki remembered nothing of her hero side.

Conflict swam in Loki's eyes, longing and logic warring inside him. "So I… I made up with Thor."

"Took a few years, but yeah, the two of you have never been closer. Emotionally, anyway," he amended, glancing at the cave containing them.

"And if he's king, then Odin is… is dead? Or retired?"

"First one. Sorry."

Loki shrugged a little. "We weren't close."

"Yeah. But you miss him."

Loki's gaze flickered away, his hands twisting together in his lap. "And what about Mother?" he asked quietly.

Peter winced. "She's… she's in Valhalla too. I'm sorry."

"No," Loki rasped, anger rearing back to the surface. "No, she _can't_ be. You're just- this is all a set-up, Thanos is trying to mess with me-"

"Loki!" Peter interrupted, holding his hand out, trying to be calming. "Loki, I wish I was lying, I _wish_ I was, but…"

"But what?" Loki snarled.

Peter sat back, pulling away from emotional topics to point at the bars. "We are each other's best bet at getting outta here. Which is what we all want, right?"

"Yeah, wouldn't you like that?" a new voice purred, sickly sweet.

Peter jumped up in a heartbeat, crossing the cell in two steps to plant himself in front of Loki as Beb appeared, flanked by Kutral and Erebu. Beb wore all white leather now, from the boots to the pants to the tank top. Her tail twitched behind her, matching the sadistic eagerness in her eyes as she watched Loki. Loki lifted his chin but backed up further, and Peter resisted the urge to follow, just spreading his arms as if that could fully shield Loki from Beb's view.

Gamora moved up too, as close as she dared, keeping Mantis behind her. "Don't touch him," she warned in a low growl, glowering at her "sister."

"Sweet, sentimental Gammy," she said, leaning into an iris scanner on the cell door. It clicked open, and she started to open it, but Kutral grabbed her shoulder. She now wore a shimmering silver minidress over black leggings and wedges that matched her skin, accessorized by a gaudy jeweled necklace and swaying hoop earrings.

"Is that such a good idea, Bebby?"

"If they get out, I'll punch 'em. Hard," Erebu grunted, punching her own palm for emphasis.

Beb glowered at Kutral, baring her teeth. "I will have my fun, Kutral. Back off."

Kutral grumbled but obeyed, letting Beb swing the door open. Gamora started moving towards her, but she swung one clawed finger up to point at her. "Back off, sister. You can have your fun with him another day."

"I don't wish-"

Beb lashed out, catching Gamora's cheek with one finger. Peter started forward, fists clenching, but froze, remembering Loki behind him. Gamora didn't even gasp in pain. She just reached up slowly, touching the new gash, her fingertip coming away bloody. She clenched her jaw, fire smoldering in her eyes.

With blinding speed, she socked Beb in the jaw.

Beb screeched. Tail lashing, she grabbed Gamora by the throat and slammed her back against the wall, knocking Mantis to the ground as she did so. "You will pay for that, _sister._ "

Instinct drove Peter forward, but Kutral appeared suddenly, blocking his path to Gamora and Mantis. "You're pretty," she observed, her gaze tracing over him like a piece of art up for stealing. "We could… have our own fun," she suggested, trailing a finger along Peter's jawline.

Peter slapped her hand away. "Get out of here," he snapped.

She huffed a condescending laugh, mischief flickering in her eyes. "Deal," she murmured. "Beb! Grab your toy."

Peter's eyes widened, realizing his mistake too late. "No, no, wait-"

But Beb was already dropping Gamora, shoving past Kutral and Peter to grab Loki. Peter staggered, caught by Kutral, her hand squeezing his muscle tight. He yanked, trying to get back to Loki, but then Erebu was there, too, penning him in. Mantis was struggling to pick herself up, Gamora on her knees gasping for air – no support there, and Peter couldn't beat both women alone.

He had no choice but to stand and watch as Loki staggered after Beb, his sleeve already torn and blood leaking out from her grip.

\-----

Rocket stomped outside of yet another shop, slamming the door shut behind him. "Useless!" he exclaimed. "Everybody on this damn planet is useless! We have been asking around for _hours,_ and everybody's been paid not to see a damn thing about those three."

"I am Groot!" Groot yelled, kicking at a pile of stones.

"Hey, don't kick stuff," Rocket scolded.

"I am Groot," he muttered.

"I do not suck the joy out of everything."

"We should return to the ship," Drax suggested.

"And do what?" Rocket said. "We have their communicators. It's not like we put trackers in their damn skin-"

He froze, his brain working.

"What?" Drax asked warily, patting his shoulders. "You did not-"

"No, you idiot. But Yondu did."

"I am Groot?"

Rocket took off, racing for the ship, leaving the other two with little choice but to follow. He dodged passersby and vending carts and various vermin, tearing through the city on all fours. Drax yelled behind him, calling things like "Wait up!" and "Remove yourself from my path, imbecile!" Groot stretched his legs to keep up with Rocket and step over some of the obstacles.

Finally, Rocket ran up the ramp and up the stairs to the cockpit. He slammed himself into the pilot's seat, bringing up their database. He scrolled through it with frantic paws, until he finally found the item he was looking for: Peter's translator, embedded in his neck.

Drax and Groot came up behind him, Groot doubling over when he stopped. "What are you talking about?" Drax demanded, panting.

Rocket gestured at the screen. "Peter's translator. Captors can't yank it out, cause then Quill won't understand a word they're sayin'. It emits a faint, short-range signal. It'll take some time, and I'll have to do some shopping for the more unusual parts, but once I boost our sensors, I should be able to track it."

"I am Groot!"

"I'm goin', I'm goin'!" Rocket darted towards the stairs, intending to grab some items to bargain with. He paused, looking back at Drax. "When I get back, we'll have to call Nova Prime. We're gonna need more than the three of us to take 'em on."

\-----

As they cuddled together again, it was easy for Gamora to feel Peter flinch when Loki's screams started. They echoed through the cave walls, muffled, but loud enough for Gamora to hear the resignation beyond the pain. She closed her eyes and suppressed a shudder, memories returning her to Thanos's torture chambers, surrounded by helpless victims letting out the same hopeless sounds.

No one escaped. Not even Gamora. Not really. Thanos's actions still haunted her, still greeted her in the eyes of former victims and enemies, of people who knew her reputation and wanted her dead or off their planet. And as much as she thanked the enhancements when they were necessary for saving Peter or the others or innocent lives, they were Thanos's doing, an inescapable remnant of what he had put her through, what he had made her do.

Sometimes, she would give anything to be rid of them.

Today was one of those days.

Peter's right arm was wrapped around Mantis, the young woman huddled against him with her hands clamped over her ears. His left arm tightened around Gamora's shoulders, and she snuggled deeper into him, laying her head on his shoulder, opening her eyes only to stare at nothing.

Loki's screams pierced their silence.

And finally, Peter broke it. "Was it… was he like this? You know… back then?"

Gamora nodded almost robotically. "They all gave up eventually. Even the strongest."

"Not you, though."

She huffed a mirthless laugh. "I did, Peter. I gave up for years. I killed, again and again and again. Only the threat to an entire planet snapped me out of it."

He pressed a gentle kiss to her hair. "And it took the threat to the entirety of Asgard to snap Loki out of his own villainy, Gam. Same with me, and Rocket, and Groot, and Drax. You're in good company."

She smiled for him, but with Loki screaming in the background, she couldn't give it any depth. It was just a facial expression. Just a feeble attempt to cheer Peter up.

They slipped back into silence, Peter burying his face in Gamora's hair. Gamora considered asking Mantis to put him to sleep, but then she would be forced to feel whatever Peter was feeling on top of her own horror. Gamora wouldn't ask her to feel that. She couldn't.

"Damn it," Peter hissed abruptly, lifting his head and dropping it back against the wall. "Damn it, damn it, _damn it all._ "

Gamora lifted her own head, resting a hand against his chest. "Peter?"

"I promised Thor," Peter muttered viciously. "I _promised_ I would take care of his little brother."

"Peter, you can't shield him from everything," Gamora pointed out gently, even as Loki screamed again. "He knew what he was signing up for."

"I asked him if he was ready to take on this mission," Peter said. "I asked him, and he said yes, and I _knew_ he wasn't actually ready, but I still let him come. I should've- I should've ordered him to stay, or just knocked him out so his stubborn ass would stay put-"

"Peter!" Gamora cut him off. "You won't knock out Loki. And he wouldn't have stayed. You were betrayed by someone you've known since you were young – you couldn't have foreseen that."

"Couldn't I?" Peter asked, meeting her gaze. "None of my Ravager contacts are actually that trustworthy. And you warned me. I still missed the signs. I still kept us there. And now Loki's out there, reliving his worst nightmare, with none of the comfort of knowing his family is waiting for him."

Gamora faltered, searching for the words to counter him. She settled for pulling him down to her, placing a kiss of her own on his hair. "You did your best, and that's all anyone can ask. The next step is just getting us all out of here alive – Thor will settle for that. All right?"

Peter nodded, readjusting his grip on Mantis as he nestled against her. "Sounds like a plan. But we, ah, we still should-" Another scream sounded, this one louder than the others. "-talk."

"Or you could sing," Gamora suggested.

"They better not have hurt my Zune," he muttered, shooting a glare out the bars.

"Tony made it nearly indestructible," Gamora reassured him. "We can grab it on our way out of here. But in the meantime…?"

Peter nodded, straightening up and clearing his throat. Then, as loudly as he could in his adorably off-key voice, he belted out, "Ooga-chaka, ooga-chaka-"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does reference my Lokyrie fic New Beginnings, but you don't need to read it to know what's going on.

_"Captured?"_ Nova Prime exclaimed. Visible behind her was Denarian Dey, concern evident on his face.

Drax inclined his head. He sat at their table, with the used dishware moved elsewhere, his hands steepled together in front of him. It was a position often assumed by Peter, Gamora, and Loki when they were assigned this task, and he believed that he now understood why: It was a simple way to disguise the urge to clench one's fists.

"Indeed," he confirmed.

_"All four of them? Even the prince?"_

"We believe Loki to be their main target," Drax told her. "The man who aided in their capture hosted the women for some time, during which Beb was not quiet about her hatred for him."

Nova Prime blinked. _"She never said a word about him in the prisons. What agenda does she have against Prince Loki?"_

Drax tilted his head a little. "Loki is the one who mangled her face, wounding her such that Thanos cast her out and allowed your warriors to capture her."

Behind her, Dey's jaw worked, but Nova Prime just nodded in understanding. _"Ah. When you rescue them, please give the prince my thanks for that."_

Drax clamped his teeth down over his tongue, narrowly avoiding an outburst. _Your_ thanks _? It is because of that incident that he is currently missing, along with three more of my friends, and you wish to_ thank _him? He did not even intend his actions to be some sort of gift to you!_

Instead, after a deep breath, he said, "These three women are powerful and intelligent. We humbly request your assistance in attacking, once we locate them."

Nova Prime smiled, but it made Drax shift, for it did not seem genuine. _"I am sorry, Drax, but I have no men to spare."_

Drax leaned forward, his steepled hands forgetting they were not supposed to turn into fists, but it was Dey who spoke. _"But, ma'am, we sent the Guardians-"_

She held up a hand and he silenced himself. _"The reason we called the Guardians was because we do not have the available manpower to chase down escapees. We have had to place extra guards in the prison they partially destroyed, and many more are overseeing prisoner transfers to undamaged buildings, and as those are lower-security buildings, they also need additional guards. I am truly sorry about your friends, but I must have faith that you three can handle this alone."_

"Nova Prime-" Drax began heatedly.

_"I wish you luck in recovering the others. But remember, the_ escapees _are the priority. We cannot allow them to take any more lives. Nova Prime out,"_ she said quickly, firmly.

The screen went black.

Drax stared at it a moment, fists curling tightly together as he processed the conversation. Processed her indifference. Processed his failure. Then, with a roar, he surged to his feet and slammed one fist into the wall.

Immediately, Rocket and Groot came darting in, taking in the black screen and shaking destroyer and new dent in the wall. "I am Groot?"

Rocket's shoulders slumped. "She said no, didn't she?"

Drax nodded sharply. "She explained that she had no available warriors. Even though Denarian Dey seemed to have qualms with that decision."

"Politicians," Rocket muttered. "Can't trust 'em. People like her love us, but she's been wary of actually helping ever since our plan got Sal and all the others blown up."

"Indeed," Drax grumbled. He took a few more deep breaths, like he had seen the other three do. _This is the reason it is their job to do this,_ he thought. When the urge to punch had faded to a tolerable level, he inquired, "What progress have you made?"

"I'm almost done," Rocket replied, heading back to his supplies. Drax and Groot followed. "Shouldn't take more than a few hours, and in the meantime, I wanna talk about their motives."

"What is there to discuss?" Drax asked, settling on the floor as Rocket picked a piece of hardware from the piles scattered around him. "They escaped to capture Loki, did they not?"

"Beb did," Rocket agreed. "But there's gotta be something more. Kutral and Erebu have nothing to do with Loki, and as far as I can tell, they never had anything to do with Beb. Not enough to break out of prison to help her with her revenge."

"That is true," Drax realized, scratching his head. "How did they discover that he was traveling with us?"

"Exactly," Rocket said. "How did they know that drawing us out would bring him along? And why capture the others too? It's easier for four Guardians to escape than one."

"I am Groot," he suggested.

"An informant of some sort would make sense," Rocket said, dipping his head proudly to the teen. Groot straightened up, smiling. "But why those three? What's the connection?"

"They all want to escape prison," Drax said. It was obvious, he knew that, but he had to get the thought from his head so he could focus on others, puzzling through them aloud. "All three women have been jailed for many years now. Many of their former contacts would want nothing to do with them now that they have been exposed. The same could likely be said for anyone who would have hired Kutral and Erebu. However… large sums of money will tempt even the most paranoid of employers."

"And we're worth a lot of money," Rocket realized. "The bounty on our heads in the criminal world… Not to mention the heir to Asgard's throne… Mantis might be worth the least cause she doesn't fight much, but anyone would pay a fortune for Peter and Gamora. And Loki, if Beb lets them sell him off."

"I am Groot!" he exclaimed, pointing at something on the tablet he now held.

Drax leaned over, tilting the screen so he could read it. "Kutral and Erebu were cellmates for ten years. It is logical to assume they bonded, or at least discussed something about escaping. But they had Kutral in speed-suppressant bracelets, and strength-suppressant bracelets for Erebu, so they would have needed a third person to remove them so they could fight off their guards."

"And with her claws manicured right, Beb probably could've picked the locks!" Rocket finished.

"I am Groot?"

Drax nodded. "They are going to sell our friends. Perhaps all four, or just Peter, Gamora, and Mantis. At which point, the women will likely also take their new fortunes and split up."

Rocket attacked his upgrades with new urgency. "Which means I gotta work fast, so shut up, both of ya."

Groot and Drax exchanged miffed glances, but fell silent.

\-----

Loki stirred with a reluctant groan, but between the burns and gashes over his face, arms, and torso, he couldn't delve back into unconsciousness. Chilled air nipped at his shirtless torso, soothing the burns but making him shiver, but something leathery separated him from the hard ground below whatever it was. Someone was holding his wrist just above the cuff, dabbing gently at a wound on his forearm.

_Wait. Why am I not alone? Who's cleaning me up?_

Carefully, he cracked open his eyelids, just enough to peer through the lashes. In the dim lighting, he made out green skin, a face half-obscured by dark hair. He dared to open his eyes just a little bit more, details slowly sharpening as he stared at his companion. They looked familiar…

He bolted upright, ignoring the agony the abrupt movement caused, yanking his arm away from her. Everything from before his latest session came flooding back, the insane tale woven by- by Peter, and Mantis, and… Gamora.

She held her hands up now, a bloody cloth held in one. "I'm just taking care of your wounds," she said softly.

Loki looked down. There were bandages on his torso, stained by a little fresh blood, but evidently put on with care, aligned with each injury, no adhesive touching the wounds. Around Gamora's knees was a bowl of water, a pile of unused bandages and medical tape, and a pile of bloody cloths. Behind her, across the cell, Peter and Mantis slept, backs pressed together.

"They weren't allowed to help," Gamora explained quietly. "Beb stayed until they fell asleep. Now please lay down before you start bleeding again, you've already lost a lot of blood."

Cautiously, Loki did so, laying down with a strained grunt on what he now recognized as Peter's maroon trench coat. "Thank you," Gamora said, relieved, her hands still in the air. She nodded at his arm. "Can I continue?"

Loki's gaze landed on her throat, noticing the bruises and small wounds on it that matched his own. "You stood up for me," he remembered.

"Of course," she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You're my teammate, Loki. My friend."

He looked around the cell, roomy, cool instead of scorching, neither blindingly bright nor pitch black, with no Chitauri guards in sight. "And… this really isn't Thanos's place."

"No."

Loki looked up at her, hesitating a moment longer. Then he tilted his arm, offering it back to her. She smiled faintly, careful not to make any sudden moves as she resumed her work, her restraining touch even gentler now. She seemed content to work in silence, avoiding his gaze, but Loki had questions itching to escape his raw, aching throat.

"So I escaped Thanos by agreeing to do his bidding, getting locked up on Asgard, and then pretending to be dead. And then… we killed him. The four of us and a lot of others."

Gamora nodded. "Basically. It was a long, hard fight, and there were casualties, but… yeah. We won."

"How did you escape him?"

She paused, glancing fondly at Peter. "Him, partially. Thanos was going to use an Infinity Stone to help a Kree named Ronan destroy Xandar, and I… that was the final straw for me. I tried to steal the Stone for myself, and got tangled up with the other Guardians – except Mantis, she joined up later – in the process. And together, we saved Xandar." She chuckled. "With a dance-off, no less."

Loki raised an eyebrow, and she explained further. "Peter distracted Ronan by dancing while Rocket and Drax prepared to shoot him. It was so weird and unexpected that it actually worked."

Loki looked at him, the eccentric human who was supposedly his leader. "And how exactly did I end up with this team?"

Gamora set the cloth aside, reaching for more bandages. "Well, you helped save Earth, but you knew that the humans still wouldn't trust you, not really. Peter overheard you talking with Thor about it, and he figured you'd fit in fine with us, seeing as we're a bunch of ex-criminals too, so he invited you to come with us. Thor and Val encouraged it, so you agreed."

"Val?"

"Technically her name is Brunnhilde, but she goes by Valkyrie. Her friends call her Val. You call her Valki, sometimes, when you're feeling sappy."

"Valkyrie?" Loki exclaimed. "She's not-"

"She is," Gamora confirmed. "She was the sole survivor. You met her on Sakaar, a few weeks before Asgard was destroyed, and in the few weeks between then and Thanos's attack… the two of you fell in love."

"What?" Loki spluttered, propping himself up on one elbow to stare at Gamora. "I have a- what?"

Gamora smiled, gently pushing him back down. "You do. Outside of Thor, she's the one you call the most."

Loki looked off, digging through his mind. Surely he would remember _that_? But then, if he didn't remember Mother's death or reuniting with Thor… "What's she like?" he murmured.

"Badass," Gamora answered. "She's one of the bravest people I've had the priviledge of knowing. She loves drinking almost as much as she loves you, and she's loyal. Loyal to her friends, loyal to her people, loyal to you and Thor. You two have saved each other in a lot of ways. You're all lucky to have found each other."

"Sounds like it," Loki agreed quietly, still futilely searching for his memories.

"There," Gamora said, finishing up on his arm. She leaned forward, brushing his hair aside. "Damn, she had it in for your face," she observed, her fingers dancing around as she tried to find unburned skin to hold.

Loki snorted. "You don't have to tell me that."

"It makes sense, I guess, since she wants revenge for what you did to her face."

" _I_ did that to her?"

"Yes. And she got kicked out of the fold and arrested because of it."

"Well, that explains a lot," Loki muttered, edging away from Gamora.

She let her hands fall to her side. "I don't suppose you could turn blue and heal them?"

Loki held up his cuffed hands. "Not with these on."

Gamora took hold of the cuffs, inspecting them. "Then I suppose we'll just have to get these off."


	6. Chapter 6

"And… done!" Rocket proclaimed, plugging in one last thing. Drax started, swiping drool from his chin, likely still awake only out of stress. Groot, on the other hand, had fallen asleep, and awoke with a yawn at the sound of Rocket's voice.

"To the bridge!" he announced, darting up towards the sensors. Groot and Drax lumbered up behind him, and by the time they were crowding around his seat, the sensors were already rebooted and scanning. Finally, they pinged.

"Says he's about two miles out into the wilderness." Rocket glanced out the window. "Or what passes for wilderness here, anyways."

"I am Groot!"

"You got that right. Time to move out!"

Rocket and Drax grabbed their weapons, and Rocket grabbed the handheld tracker he'd also modified. Then they stepped outside, feet landing in the dusty soil, and they struck out with Rocket in the lead. The smog thinned as they moved away from the city, but the planet was poisoned enough that they hardly saw wildlife, be it the tiniest of flowers or the scrappiest of critters. No, the world was eerily quiet, and Groot seemed like a bright speck of color amongst the dull grey rock formations they wove past.

"I can't wait to get off this damn planet," Rocket whispered. He wasn't superstitious, but somehow it just felt wrong to speak any louder.

"I am Groot," he agreed, rubbing his arms.

"We will be gone soon," Drax stated, fists clenched around his daggers. "We will make quick work of those who dare hurt our friends."

Rocket nodded along to bolster Groot's nerves, but he had doubts. Kutral had brains, and while Loki was right, she was no Quicksilver, she was still incredibly fast. And between Erebu's strength and Beb's sorcery, it would be like fighting Loki's two greatest abilities from two different sides. And sure, that was something they had trained for, but it had always been Loki against the rest of them. Never just Drax, Rocket, and Groot.

_We'll win. We have to._

Realizing his pace was slacking, Rocket gave himself a sharp mental shake and picked it back up. Clouds of dust puffed up from their footsteps, leaving a trail. _At least we'll be able to find our way back,_ Rocket thought upon noticing this.

Above them, the sky began to darken.

\-----

Gamora leaned back against the wall, still rubbing at her hands even though she had already cleaned all the blood off. She and Loki had tried for an hour, using a mixture of brute strength and the hair pins Gamora kept hidden in her sleeves, to remove the cuffs, to no avail. After they finally gave up, Loki had fallen asleep, too exhausted to be kept up by the pain of his wounds, Gamora's coat now draped over him. She envied him that, the peace of sleep. At least, she hoped it was peaceful.

"Hey."

Gamora jumped, readying an instinctive punch. "Woah, woah," Peter said, lightly catching her fists and nudging them back down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's all right," she said, relaxing again.

Peter watched her for a moment, then gestured at Loki. "How is he?"

She followed his gaze, looking at the bandages and pale skin peeking out from beneath her coat. "He lost a lot of blood and he's understandably stressed, but if he's left alone to rest for a while, he should be fine."

"Good," Peter murmured, tension easing from his shoulders.

"But that's not what worries me," she went on, resisting the urge to fix Loki's hair. "Well," she amended, "it does, but for a different reason."

Peter stiffened again, looking Loki over as if he'd missed something. "What?"

"Beb was so useful to Thanos because she's skilled in the art of healing magic as well as her heat," Gamora explained. "She could heal her victims as fast as she could hurt them, letting the sessions go on longer, leaving the victims alive longer. But…"

She reached out, peeling back a bit of the coat to reveal the mess of bandages beneath. Loki shifted, mumbling something under his breath, and she froze, staying quiet until he stilled again. She dropped the coat, carefully smoothing it back into place, covering as much of him as she could.

But Peter got the message. "She didn't heal him this time."

"Which means-"

"-we won't be here much longer," Peter finished, glancing at their two sleeping teammates. "We gotta make a move, Gam. Fast."

"We don't even know what they're going to do with us," Gamora said, grabbing Peter's arm before he could get up. "If they're just moving us, the three of them, then that's our best shot."

"And if they're not?" Peter countered. "If someone else is coming with extra guards, then we'll be screwed."

"And if we strike now?" Gamora pointed behind her. "Loki is in no condition to fight, either mentally or physically. He'll need help just walking out of here, leaving only two of us to fight, and two of us can't take on all three of them _and_ protect the other two. No matter what's going to come down that corridor, we have to wait for it."

"Makes sense," he said. "All right, compromise: We wait, but if we get a good opportunity when they came to fetch us…"

"We attack." Gamora nodded. " _If_ an acceptable opportunity presents itself."

"Yeah. If." Peter buried his face in his hands with a ragged sigh. "God, I hate when you're right. And I hate waiting."

Gamora rubbed his shoulder. "I know, Peter. Too bad I'm always right."

That earned a laugh, his mirth warming her a bit. She kissed his cheek, nuzzling against his soft curls. He turned his head to return the kiss, his lips brushing against the corner of her mouth. He held her close, interlacing their fingers. "I love you, Gammy," he whispered.

She closed her eyes, letting herself bask in his warmth. "I love you too, Peter."

Peter pulled back a little to look at her, lifting one hand to stroke her hair. "Well, that sounded deep and layered."

Gamora gestured around. "Like you said, I hate waiting."

"It's more than that, Gam."

"It-"

"Hey, we said no lying," Peter rebuked gently. "That includes hiding whatever it is you've been feeling since Loki's panic attack back on the _Milano._ "

Gamora lifted her head, pulling her hair free of his fiddling fingers. "You noticed that."

"Of course I did," Peter said loftily. "One, it's my job as leader to notice when there's dissent in the ranks. Two, it wasn't hard to see the two of you getting so lost in whatever you were discussing on Ascorix that you forgot you were surrounded by a bunch of stabby criminals."

Gamora ducked her head. "That was foolish. I should've waited to ask him what I did."

"Which was?" Peter prompted, tucking her hair behind her ear so he could see her.

"If he is scared of you."

Gamora looked up sharply. Mantis had awoken, and was now sitting up, looking at them with her wide black eyes that were somehow so naïve and so wise all at once. Gamora took a breath, ready to deny her claim, but between Mantis's look and Peter's concerned hand on her arm, she just asked, "Is he?"

Mantis looked at Loki, chewing her lip as she chose her words. "He was not thinking directly of you when I calmed him down, so I cannot say for certain. But… I believe there was something."

"I knew it," Gamora rasped.

"Ok, hold on-" Peter started.

"Quiet time's over!" Kutral announced cheerfully. Loki bolted awake, gasping in pain as he jostled his wounds. Peter darted over to him to help, holding the two coats in place as he supported him. Loki eyed him warily but didn't protest.

Erebu and Beb joined Kutral as she opened the door. She stepped inside, kneeling in front of Loki, who tried very hard not to look panicked at being singled out again. All she did, though, was unlock the chains holding his cuffs together as Beb tossed his shirt and coat inside. In turn, Kutral dumped them on his lap.

"Get dressed," she ordered as Erebu and Beb stepped inside, holding more pairs of handcuffs. Erebu knelt in front of Mantis, and Beb came to Gamora.

"We're leaving," Beb said, waiting expectantly for Gamora's wrists.

"Peter?" she asked.

"Now's as good a time as any," he agreed.

In unison, they lunged for their captors.

\-----

Rocket held up his fist in that human stop signal Peter had taught them. Drax and Groot still would've walked right past him had Groot not run into Rocket while Drax ran into Groot. He staggered forward with a grunt, twisting to glare at his companions. Groot muttered under his breath while Drax just shrugged like "How am I supposed to see you? You're as tall as my knee."

"The signal's coming from about ten yards away," Rocket whispered, wincing as his voice bounced amongst the rocks.

Drax stretched up, trying to peer over the rocks. "I see nothing that would indicate a base of some sort."

Rocket tucked the scanner in his pack and crept forward. He peeked around the next bend, sharp eyes scanning for anything odd. Seeing nothing, he padded forward, cautiously followed by Drax and Groot. Rocket spotted a shape in the ground and crouched to examine it.

"Looks like a lady's footprint, and it's headed towards Peter," he said. "Although how she expects to commit crime in high heels, I don't even know."

"Gamora often defeats us in training whilst wearing her boots," Drax pointed out.

"Yeah, but these are actual spindly heels."

"In that case, it does not make sense."

Shaking his head, Rocket advanced, checking around two more bends. Finally, a small clearing opened around them, evidently well-trodden based on the mess of footprints. Boulders surrounded it, and dead ahead gaped the entrance to a cave, just big enough for a person to walk through. Rocket couldn't see anything more than a few inches into it, the lighting situation not helped at all by the fading dusk light.

"No base, Drax?" he teased.

"I could not see that," Drax protested.

"Groot, get ready to spore," Rocket murmured, moving towards the cave. He examined what he could, checking for tripwires or motion sensors, before carefully stepping over the threshold. When nothing happened, he gestured for Drax and Groot to follow. They went a little deeper in, leaving the daylight behind, before Groot lifted his arm to the ceiling.

_Never gets old,_ Rocket thought privately, watching the little spores flood the air, banishing the darkness with their soft light. He would never dare tell anyone, but the lights gave him hope, like everything would be all right. Even if they did remind him of the day Groot died.

"Thanks," was all he said aloud, moving on, closer to the others. He brought his blaster out, finger hovering near the trigger. Gradually, the tunnel widened, their tension thickening the air as they finally stepped into a room.

And that was it. Just an empty room. A dead end. Without a soul in sight.

"But- but the signal led us right here!" Rocket protested, whirling around. Drax started circling the room, pressing his hands over the stone, searching for a hidden doorway. It took him only moments to clear the entire circumference, but he repeated the process five more times before resorting to stomping on the floor in search of a trapdoor before finally stopping, his shoulders slumping.

"There is nothing here," he announced unnecessarily.

"I am Groot?" Groot said, bending down to pick something up, a tiny metallic something that glinted silver in the spore light. He held it out to Rocket.

Rocket took it. And immediately recognized it for what it was.

"Damn it!" he shouted, clenching his fist. "Someone duplicated the signal in Peter's implant and planted this one to lure us here. We just wasted an entire day on a wild goose chase!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think I'd let it be that easy, did ya?


	7. Chapter 7

Peter lunged for Kutral, grabbing her chin and shoving her back into the wall. Her head connected with a _thud._ She gasped, dazed. Loki kicked out, sending her flying into the bars. The keys to Loki's cuffs slipped from her hand, landing with a _clink._ Peter grabbed for them. If only he could get Loki's cuffs off, get his magic back on their side, let him start fighting whatever spell Beb had put on him-

Kutral appeared in front of him, the breeze of her dash unsettling her hair. She swiped the keys aside, sending them skidding out of the cell. "Did you think it would be that simple?" she hissed, wrapping her long fingers around his throat.

Peter tugged at her hands, choking for air. Kutral pushed him onto his back, leaning her weight onto him, digging her knee into his stomach. Vision already blackening, he looked around for help. Erebu had Mantis pinned against her, but she was lashing out with pointy elbows just like Gamora had taught her, seeking a firm grip on some piece of Erebu's flesh. Gamora and Beb were rolling around, Gamora trying to stay on Beb's blind side as she clawed for Gamora's throat. And Loki was just trying to scramble through the fighting bodies, his attention locked on the abandoned keys.

_Looks like I'm on my own,_ Peter thought hazily, returning his attention to Kutral.

"You will pay for mussing my hair," she threatened.

"And you… will pay… for screwing up mine," Peter shot back.

Peter brought his knee up, jabbing it into Kutral's butt. She stumbled, her grip loosening just a smidge, listing to one side. Peter lurched into a roll, shoving his throat into her hands and landing a blow on her side to keep her tilting. She fell, and he rolled onto his stomach, sucking in breaths. For a moment, he could hardly move.

That was all Kutral needed. She gingerly picked herself up, rising to all fours before shifting to a crouch, leaning her hand on one knee as she shook her head, ran a hand through her hair. Peter pushed himself, but the adrenaline was wearing off and _god_ he was starving – when had they last eaten?

"This was supposed to be simple," Kutral muttered.

"Nothing's simple with us," Peter rasped.

Kutral turned on him, glaring, and Peter geared up for another round.

A faint clinking, hardly audible over the other two fights, drew their attention. Loki had managed to escape the fighting, and now knelt in the corridor, fumbling with his cuffs. Kutral stiffened, her stance shifting just enough for Peter to realize she wasn't going for him.

"Loki, run!" he yelled.

Loki jerked his head up, panic flooding his expression as he met Kutral's eyes. _I've never seen him look like that,_ Peter thought, the realization stabbing into his heart. Loki had his vulnerable side, his own fears and weaknesses they had all helped him with at one point or another, but he was also their rock. He had over a thousand years of wisdom under his belt, wisdom that had helped Mantis further hone her abilities and saved them from many dangerous situations.

But most importantly, a more subtle detail that Peter was realizing he had always taken for granted, was his ability to hold himself together. His ability to throw up the mask of a warrior, of a prince, of a sorcerer. An aura of quiet strength that was always there, always an anchor when Peter and the others faltered.

But here, in this moment, he looked like a child. Like one of the numerous terrified little kids Peter had rescued from mortal danger, like the terrified little boy Peter had once been. He wasn't a fighter or a prince. He was just a person. A person who didn't want to get hurt again.

With a grunt of effort, Peter picked himself up. Loki only needed a few seconds, a few precious seconds to get those cuffs off. Then he could heal himself and run. Maybe he would remember, maybe he wouldn't, but he would be alive.

Peter flung himself at Kutral.

As he was hurtling through where she had been half a heartbeat before, she was already tackling Loki. She yanked the keys from him and slammed his head against the ground. The fight went out of him in an instant, leaving him limp and helpless. Kutral smirked, tucking the keys back into her pocket.

Peter crashed into Beb, knocking her off Gamora. He rolled off, coughing. Gamora bolted to her feet, snatching Beb up and hurling her at Erebu. That startled both women. Mantis tore free of Erebu's grip and grabbed what she could – Beb's hand and Erebu's half-covered shoulder – and screamed "SLEEP!"

Both women collapsed. Kutral bared her teeth, disappearing in a flash. Gamora, panting, her sleeves shredded and bloodied, darted over to Peter. "Are you all right?" she asked between ragged breaths.

Peter nodded, staggering to his feet with her help. "Loki?" he rasped. "Loki, you alive?"

Loki answered with a moan. Gamora helped Mantis up, too, then helped the trio to Loki's side. He crouched down and carefully peeled back the shirt Loki had found time to put on, ignoring his shudder at the unexpected touch, peeking at the bandages beneath. "Oh yeah, you're bleeding again, buddy."

"We don't have time to patch him up here," Gamora pointed out.

"I did not have a good grip on either woman," Mantis said. "They will not sleep long."

"You're right," Peter decided. He glanced at Mantis, whose face was now bruised. "I hate to ask, but…" He gestured at Loki.

She nodded hesitantly, beginning to reach for his hand. Loki jerked away from her, propping himself up on one elbow. "What is she doing?"

"I am an empath. If you allow me, I can ease some of your pain."

"I'm… I'm fine, thank you," Loki said, tucking his hand firmly away from her. Mantis drooped a little, withdrawing her own hand.

"Loki, I understand that you don't want your mind being messed with, but you've gotta walk out of here," Peter said. "And fast, before Kutral zips back here."

Loki hesitated, looking between them and their unconscious captors. After a long moment, he grabbed Mantis's hand. She started, tried to cover it up with a position adjustment, then closed her eyes and concentrated. Her antennae began to glow, and a second later, Loki slumped a little in relief, letting out a breath.

"All right, let's go," Peter ordered, moving to help Loki up. Mantis adjusted carefully, switching out the hand that Loki held so she could pull his arm over her shoulder and support him at the waist. Peter glanced at their captors, but saw no weapons to steal. _The one time I actually want them to have weapons,_ he grumbled. Then they moved out, Peter in the lead and Gamora bringing up the rear.

They passed a tunnel that branched out. Peter considered trying it, but Loki flinched away violently, and that was all the answer he needed as to where it went. Eventually, they came upon a living room-like area, with a table and chairs and a broken punching bag. There was food trash on the table and a little cabinet, so Peter checked it. His stomach growled hungrily at the sight of a couple bags of food and water bottles, all of which he grabbed.

There were three tunnels out of this room. Daylight gleamed out of the largest, but Peter went and checked the two smaller ones. One led to a bathroom, the sink stained pink and surrounded by bloody cloths, and he quickly backed out of that one before his rage decided to do something reckless. But the second turned out to be a sort of closet.

"Aha!" he exclaimed happily, pulling out their weapons and his knapsack. Gamora filled her holsters with a look of relief, patting the hilts, while Peter dumped as much of the food as he could in his bag – which contained an unharmed Zune – before handing the remainder to Loki. Then, blasters in hand, he led them outside, discovering a lush forest full of tweeting birds, the sun shining overhead in a deep blue sky.

Immediately, they found five blasters pointed at them.

"Aw, crap," Peter groaned.

"Drop the weapons," Kutral ordered, standing behind a row of armed guards clad in blinding gold armor, a blue line running down the middle of their helmets. Peter and Gamora obeyed, tossing away their defenses and raising their hands into the air. Only then did Kutral move forward to cuff Peter and Gamora. She left Loki and Mantis alone, though.

"Your acquisitions are prepared, sir!" she called over her shoulder.

The bushes rustled, light somehow managing to glint off something moving in their shadows. Peter squinted, bracing himself for whatever maniac came to collect them.

But the man that emerged wasn't disturbing or sneering or anything Peter had expected. He looked human, with neatly styled grey hair, and painted blue nails with a matching line stretching from his bottom lip to his chin. He wore a shimmering gold robe over a blue outfit, and sandals that didn't seem to fit trekking through a jungle. Peter shared a glance with Gamora, eyebrows arched dubiously.

"Aha!" the man said, clapping his hands together. "Greetings, Guardians of the Galaxy. Although you're not doing much guarding now, are you?"

"No," Peter answered shortly. "Thanks for that."

"Oh, you're quite welcome!" he chuckled. "It must be exhausting, trying to save all those people. From now on, you'll only have to save yourselves!"

Gamora wrinkled her nose. "Who _are_ you?"

"Oh, yes, silly me, I've forgotten my manners. Well, I used to have a recording do the whole introduction bit for me, it really saved quite a bit of time-"

"Please get to the point," Peter interrupted.

He smiled wickedly, steepling his fingers together. "I am known as the Grandmaster. And you are now my prisoners with jobs."

\-----

They spent some more time scouring the cave and surrounding area, desperate for any hint of what may have happened to the others. Not unexpectedly, they came up with nothing. Just the little piece of tech they had spent an entire day tracking. And now they were plodding back to the _Milano,_ out of ideas once again.

"Damn it," Rocket snapped yet again.

"I am Groot," the tree said, shoulders slumping.

"We will locate them," Drax stated firmly. "We must."

"How?" Rocket demanded as the place they had parked came into view.

"Could we not track their ship?" Drax asked.

Rocket gestured sharply at the smog-obscured sky. "There are too many ships. Even if we did know which one they were flying, we'd never be able to pick out its individual trail by now. And we can't go around scanning every damn planet for Quill's translator implant. I mean, maybe, _maybe_ I can trace this thing-"

"You can't."

Rocket whipped his gun up, aiming it at the newcomer. Drax moved in a heartbeat, pinning him against the nearest boulder, one dagger on his throat. Groot grabbed his hands, pinning them together.

"Hmph. This looks familiar," Rocket said.

The kid from Fort Knaux managed a wry smile as he glanced nervously at Drax. "I won't- I won't run or anything, if you could please just… not do that."

Rocket jerked his head, and Drax and Groot backed off. They stayed close, penning him in, while Rocket didn't lower his gun. "Whatcha doing out here, kid?"

He straightened up, rubbing at his throat. "Uh, my name's Bex. And I'm here to… make amends."

"I am Groot," Groot snorted.

"Why should we believe you?" Rocket translated. Albeit with slightly different words.

"Look, I only worked for Knaux trying to make enough units to get off this planet. My mom came here in very different times, but after I was born, she got clean. Mostly. We just wanna get out of here, and Knaux was least likely to kill me if I screwed up."

Rocket considered him, then exchanged a glance with Drax. He nodded, so Rocket lowered the gun. "Ya got five minutes, kid. We've got business to attend to."

Bex pointed at the false signal emitter Rocket still held. "You can't trace that. It's completely independent of the original source, a little something of my own design."

"So we won't waste our time with it," Rocket said, planning to waste the time anyway. He had to exhaust all leads, and for all they knew, the kid was still messing with them. "Good to know."

"But," Bex went on, "I did plant a tracker on one of them."

Despite his skepticism, Rocket perked up. "You did?"

"If I can sell someone out, I will," Bex replied. "I don't like it, but… Mom's been working fifteen years to get us away. She tries, she tries to be a good mom, a good role model, but this place… this planet, this city… It compromises you. Even if you're doing it for the right reason. And I gotta help her."

Rocket softened, recognizing the tremble in Bex's voice, holstering his gun. "Tell ya what. Give us that tracking info, and we'll give you a lift and some units. Deal?"

Bex's jaw dropped. "S-seriously?"

Rocket flashed a lopsided smile. "I got my own family to protect, kid. Whatever it takes."

Bex shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out a datachip. "I tagged the blue one," he said, offering it to Rocket.

Rocket took it, mind already working through the adapters he would need to connect it to the ship. "Drax, Groot, escort this kid to his place to get his mom and stuff, and then we'll be off."

"Thank you," Bex said, grinning below watering eyes. "Thank you, thank you so much-"

"It's what we do," Rocket interrupted before Bex could start hugging people. "Now shoo. We're on a clock."

Bex dashed off, followed by Drax and Groot, while Rocket raced to the _Milano._

_Let's hope Kutral's still with them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm gonna be on vacation next week, and while I will have both my laptop and internet access, I can't guarantee I'll remember or be able to find time to post (the fact that the next book in my fave series comes out on Tuesday doesn't help either, cause I'll be focused on devouring that). So hopefully chapter 8 will be up no later than Tuesday night, but don't fret if it's not - I'm not abandoning y'all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on time! For a while there I didn't think I'd get a chance to post until at least much later tonight. Yay for little miracles

Peter stared. "The _Grandmaster_?"

He took a little bow, fluttering his eyelashes at Peter. "Why yes, that's me. Loki introduced me, I see?"

"I… What?" Loki said. "I know _him_?"

"Why, Loki!" Grandmaster exclaimed, pressing a hand over his heart. "I'm hurt. I'm truly hurt."

"Beb did something to his mind," Kutral explained. "Which I hope won't affect our agreed-upon price."

Grandmaster swept past Peter, stopping in front of Loki and lifting his chin with a finger. "Hey!" Peter protested as Loki tensed, shifting uncomfortably. Peter moved, ready to shove this dude away, but suddenly a blaster was pressing into his shoulder. He glared at the guard holding it.

"Why is he leaning on this- this bug lady?" Grandmaster asked, tilting Loki's head. "And what happened to his face?"

"I happened," Beb growled. She and Erebu emerged from the tunnel, Erebu smothering a yawn as she went over to Kutral. Beb moved towards Loki. Mantis angled herself between Beb and Loki, bumping him into the Grandmaster to do so. Loki flinched. Peter fought back the urge to elbow the guard in the face.

"Mm. Revenge?" the Grandmaster guessed, stepping back and brushing off his cloak where Loki had touched it.

"Which, honey, does it really do that much good if he doesn't remember why you're getting revenge?" Kutral asked.

Beb shrugged. "I thought my spell would've worn off by now."

Peter shared a concerned glance with Gamora. _Why hasn't it?_

He examined their situation. The five armed guards, all of whom had moved closer, might be easy to take out, even considering Peter and Gamora's cuffed hands. But their three original captors all hardly looked scraped, and Mantis's antennae were starting to droop – she wouldn't be ordering anyone to sleep in the near future. Even with her help, Loki was struggling to hold himself upright, and Peter's stomach was growling again.

Besides, the sooner he could get Loki away from Beb, the better.

 _Where are the others?_ he wondered. _Did they get hurt? Are we- Crap, we're not even on Ascorix. Damn it, maybe we should put trackers in each other. This happens way too often._

"Look, can we just get sold already?" Peter asked. Loki stared at him.

"That suits me," Kutral said with a shrug. "So, does our original deal stand?"

"I suppose," Grandmaster said, waving off one of the guards. Peter clenched his fists, staying in place by sheer force of will. In some ways, he occasionally missed his days as a Ravager.

"But you," Grandmaster went on, pointing at Beb. "You did this to him?"

Beb lifted her chin, subtly shifted into a fighting stance. "I did," she confirmed warily.

Grandmaster sidled back up to Loki, grabbing his chin again, but this time with enough force to whiten the skin around his fingers. Loki swallowed. "I need those two – well, three, I suppose – to begin rebuilding my arena. But, you see, Loki here used to live in my house. He crashed onto my planet, wounded by his sister and abandoned by his brother. So, out of the kindness of my heart, I took him in, gave him food and clothes and safety when he had nowhere else to go. And how did he repay me? By betraying me for that same brother."

"It's a habit of his," Gamora said. "Now _let go of him_."

"Or you'll what?" Beb demanded. "Give me a reason, sister."

Kutral hissed. "Do not endanger this deal."

"No, I want her to be part of it," Grandmaster said, releasing Loki with a flourish to move towards Beb. Loki gasped as his head snapped to the side, lifting a hand to rub gingerly at the bruises already forming on his chin.

"You see, I want my revenge as well, but I'm happy to see someone else dole out some punishment. So, if you'll agree to become my champion, I'll let you… play with him some more."

Beb's face twisted into a sadistic snarl. "If you let me have my fun, I'll do whatever you want."

The Grandmaster clapped his hands together just as the dispatched guard returned a unit creditor. "Excellent! Pay these women, if you please." He rounded on the four Guardians. "And welcome to my service."

Peter could only stare in horror at Loki and Mantis. She was shaking, Loki's terror evident on her face even as she clung to their connection, clung to her control. Loki was entirely still, staring at the ground, his eyes devoid of emotion. Only Gamora's touch on Peter's elbow snapped him out of it, drawing his gaze to her. She said nothing, but there was the fire of a promise in her eyes:

_We will protect him._

\-----

They dropped Bex and his mother off on Xandar, enduring tears and hugs before they finally convinced the duo to leave. Then they took off again, heading straight for Kutral's signal. Based on the data, she had been holed up in one spot for most of the duration of their search, bringing them to a small moon orbiting an unpopulated planet. Unfortunately, she had finally started moving.

"We should follow her," Drax argued.

"Look, what if they left Peter and the others behind?" Rocket argued. "Or what if she struck out on her own? We gotta check that planet she was on. Just in case."

"Nova Prime said-"

"I don't give a crap! We'll catch 'em later. In the meantime, I'm goin' after our team."

"I am Groot!"

"Thank you, Groot." Rocket crossed his arms at Drax. "Ya with us?"

"Yes," Drax decided. "Let us search for our friends."

"Good," Rocket said, piloting down for a landing in a clearing. There were scorch marks in the grass, left by other ships' thrusters. Those ships were gone, leaving the _Milano_ with plenty of room to land, but leaving Rocket with doubts. Still, he parked, and they disembarked, picking out a path through the trees that led to a cave.

In front of the cave lay a pile of things: Gamora's swords, Peter's blasters, Peter's knapsack, and some food. Rocket ran over to the stuff, checking it out. "No blood on the swords," he said. "She never got a chance to use them. And… aw crap, the Zune's in here."

"If their belongings have been left lying around, then they will not be here," Drax said. "We should depart."

"No," Rocket said. "This means they've already been sold off – Kutral won't be with them. We should stay, see if they managed to leave any clues behind."

"Rocket, we are wasting time-"

"We're being thorough!" Rocket retorted. "We take half an hour here, max. If we find nothing, we go after Kutral and get answers out of her. Using whatever methods necessary."

"All right," Drax agreed grudgingly, turning to the cave entrance.

The first room yielded nothing of significance. Nor did the supply closet. But an inspection of the bathroom showed a blood-stained sink. "One of them's hurt," Rocket realized aloud. Groot covered his mouth, and Rocket led him back outside quickly, saying as he went, "We don't know if it's one of them, though. It could be one of the escapees."

"It is not."

Drax's answer came from deeper into the tunnels. Rocket gestured for Groot to sit and stay put; for once, the teen obeyed. Then Rocket ran down the tunnel, trying to ignore the chill that penetrated his fur. Drax saw him coming and disappeared into a side room. Rocket followed.

And immediately froze in horror.

This room held only one piece of furniture: a table. It was thick and metal, with two sets of straps, one at wrist height and one at the foot of the table. Its silver surface was stained with blood, pooled around the shape of a humanoid torso.

"Loki or Peter?" Rocket whispered.

Drax hefted himself onto the table, leaning down to fit his arm into the shape left by the stains. It was a weird thing of his, needing to know who amongst them had the biggest muscles. Based on the torso size, it wasn't Gamora or Mantis, but the rest would have to be left to Drax's judgement.

"Loki," he answered quietly, jumping off the table as if it had shocked him.

"Makes sense, I guess," Rocket said. "Given his history with Beb."

"Indeed."

Rocket hurried back out of the room, but forced himself deeper into the cave. He found a couple cells. One was empty, but three coats lay in the second: Gamora's, Peter's, and Loki's. Drax collected them, and then they returned to the ship, settling into their seats with determination in their movements.

"We have a Kutral to catch," Rocket snarled.

\-----

Loki curled up on his side, his back to the others, in the corner of their newest cell. At least this one was warmer, with pristine white walls and floor. A forcefield penned them in, shimmering gold and sending him reeling back with a shock when Peter gingerly tested it out. Before removing Peter and Gamora's cuffs and locking them all in, the guards had affixed little discs to their necks, things the Grandmaster had referred to as obedience discs. He'd warned them not to mess with them, not that Loki had any real intention of doing so.

He would be dead soon anyway. After… whatever Beb would throw at him. Might as well not add any extra pain to it.

 _But what if you have reason to fight?_ part of him whispered, that tiny ember of hope that somehow still survived, not yet extinguished by the months of torture. _What if these people are telling the truth?_

Loki buried his face in his hands, trying to hide from the images that taunted him, images of joking with Thor, of curling up at night with the woman he loved. Gods he wanted that, wanted even some semblance of relief from the unceasing agony, but- but it just _couldn't_ be true. And if Mother was truly dead… _No. No, she's alive, she_ has _to be._

"Loki?"

He started out of his thoughts, tilting his head to see Peter. "What?"

Peter held up a cup and a small bowl. "Hungry? They dropped off some food."

"No point in dying hungry, I suppose," Loki said, pushing himself upright.

Peter winced a little. "We're gonna get you out of here, Loki."

Loki took the meager meal, closing his eyes in relief as a sip of water slid down his scream-scraped throat. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Loki-"

"Why should I trust you?" he interrupted.

Peter sat back. "What?"

"Why should I trust you?" Loki repeated, meeting Peter's eyes. "You three make a good show of being protective of me, but the opposite always seems to happen. And everything you've told me that was supposedly erased from my mind – in a spell that Beb admitted should have worn off by now – could just be an insane lie. For all I know, this is just some elaborate ruse cooked up to give me hope only to steal it away."

"It's not," Peter promised.

Loki just arched an eyebrow, sipping at his lukewarm broth.

"All right, you want real proof we actually know you…" Peter said, thinking. "Well, for one, you love to draw, and you're damn good at it. Sif taught you, when you guys were like a couple hundred years old. You draw people, usually, memories. You told me once, when I managed to get you drunk, that's because you want to remember them even when you're 5,000 and the rest of us are long gone."

"A fair start," Loki allowed. _How many people know about that? That was supposed to be a lifelong secret._

Peter smirked before speaking again. "Also, you refuse to eat lamb because one time, when you were still learning to shapeshift, you turned into a lamb, couldn't turn back, and got chased around by a hungry Volstagg for an hour. Frigga laughed for five minutes before calming down enough to help you out."

Loki pursed his lips. "I don't-"

"Like talking about it? Yeah, we know, but it's a _great_ way to mock you. Besides, you asked for proof."

"True," Loki muttered. "Tell me something else. Then I'll decide."

"What's something else you haven't told anyone…" Peter murmured, scratching his head. He stopped, breathing out a small "Oh." Loki eyed him as he set down his food.

"One of the times we were on Earth," he started quietly, "you asked if we could sneak off somewhere. You said Thor and Jane – she's his girlfriend – couldn't know about it, and you didn't want to go alone, but you didn't want to go with Val, either. I said yes, because that's what friends are for, and you took me to this little old town in Sweden. And then you took me to their graveyard. You'd been acting weird, so part of me wondered if you'd snapped and were taking me there to kill me, but… turns out you were there to visit the grave of the human you'd once fallen in love with. Carita."

Loki closed his eyes, remembering years of laughter and candlelit meals and nights beneath the stars. "You… you know about Carita?"

"Just me and Val," Peter confirmed quietly. "You don't want to tell Thor until Jane has passed, too." He paused. "Her, uh… her sister showed up, came to visit her grave at the same time we did. Said she just… had a feeling she should. And even though it had been decades, she remembered you. Told us that it broke her heart to see you invading New York, that she almost refused to believe it was you, because that wasn't the handsome nerd her sister had fallen in love with. She invited us to dinner, and both of you cried over her before the night was over. But she forgave you for disappearing when Carita died, and the two of you still talk when we're in range."

A bittersweet smile tugged at Loki's lips as he swiped at the tears threatening to fall. "I guess I do trust you, if you know about Carita and my drawing."

Peter smiled, rested a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get you out of here, Loki."

Loki found himself believing him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yas, chapter 9. I've been waiting for so long for y'all to get here, for one humorous reason, and one not-so-humorous reason. Enjoy!

"Of course they came here," Rocket muttered as he parked the _Milano_ in orbit, glancing at his own greasy, disheveled clothes, shirtless Drax, and naked Groot. "It's a fashion planet, full of people covered in sparkle and wearing shoes that cost more than this ship. We're gonna stick out like sore thumbs."

"I am Groot?" Groot suggested.

"No, we can't borrow the others' clothes!" Rocket exclaimed. "We're too tiny and Drax is too big. And that's just weird. 'Hey, we rescued you by dressing as you.' I ain't tellin' 'em that!"

"I am Groot!"

"No, I _don't_ care that we wouldn't actually have to tell them that. They would notice!"

"We will just have to move around behind the stores," Drax said. "We have done this before. It will be fine."

Rocket still grumbled all the way down to the surface. They could _not_ screw this up. If they lost Kutral here, and she realized they had tracked her somehow, they would lose their only advantage. They would lose their only source of information as to who purchased the others.

The shopping district glittered in the midday sunlight, the light reflecting off of glassy storefronts, glittering window displays, and the gaudy jewelry and glittery makeup adorned by the mass of customers. Heels clacked against the tiled walkways, children running rampant amongst the sea of people.

"We can't afford to get caught up in a public fight," Rocket murmured. They hid in a thin alleyway between two of the largest shops, shadowed by the buildings' height. "Too much collateral."

Drax nodded. "Do you believe the women are staying here?"

Rocket checked the tracking data. "They did spend some time in the hotel district," he said. "It's possible."

"Then we should bide our time until they retire for the night. We can trap them in their hotel room."

"Great," Rocket muttered as they backed up, seeking a more long-term hideout. "More waiting. My _favorite_ thing."

\-----

Gamora leaned back against the wall, taking some time to rest after finishing her food. Mantis curled up against her, dozing for the last half hour, head pillowed on Gamora's shoulder. She rubbed the younger Guardian's arm gently. She stirred with a yawn, stretching, one hand fluttering to her torso as if checking for injuries.

"You good?" Gamora asked.

Mantis nodded. "I was connected to Loki long enough for the line between our consciousnesses to blur."

"You looked terrified when Beb was threatening him," Gamora murmured.

"I was, yes," she said. "Terrified for him. But his terror…" She hugged herself, shuddering. "His is a bone-deep terror. It is not the kind that goes away, no matter what happens or what he does. It will always be there, lingering, like a shadow tainting everything he does. Tainting everyone he loves."

Gamora ducked her head with a tiny wry smile. "This has a point, doesn't it?"

Mantis dipped her head. "I believe that is what I sensed during his panic attack, that something I could not identify at the time. It was faded then, buried somewhat by the years between, but the core of the emotion was the same."

"So he's not scared of me?"

"Not exactly," Mantis said. "It… it would probably be best for him to explain in his own words. But until he can, I will say that he is scared of you in the same way he is scared of Thor."

Gamora furrowed her brows in confusion. "He is scared of Thor?"

Mantis bit her lip. "Perhaps 'of' is not the right word. Or at least, not of Thor. He is… he is scared of doing something that would require Thor to hurt him again."

"So he's scared of his past. Of himself," Gamora surmised.

Mantis nodded slowly. "That sounds correct."

"That, I can understand," she said, lifting her gaze to look at Loki. He was asleep, curled up next to Peter, the two men not quite touching, but close enough that Loki was evidently sheltering next to Peter. "Well, something changed over there."

Mantis smiled. "He is trusting us."

"Good," Gamora said, casting a glare at the two guards in the corridor outside their cell. "Because I want to fight."

\-----

In the end, their best hiding spot had been a public restroom. Drax sat on the toilet lid, Groot in his lap and Rocket on his shoulders. There was arguing, a lot of it, and plenty of people wondering who the hell was taking so long to go, but at least it was a decently clean room. When dusk rolled around, they bailed in a heartbeat, albeit moving a bit stiffly as they ran for open spaces and fresh air.

They made their way to the hotel Kutral was at, sneaking through alleys and clinging to the shadows outside of street lamps. Rocket picked the lock on the service entrance, silencing the alarm rapidly after they slipped in without a keycard. Then they climbed up the stairs twenty floors, finally emerging into a hallway. Rocket _almost_ felt guilty about daring to step on the carpet, decorated with intricate spirals of a rainbow of colors, white walls rising up around them, meeting a mirrored ceiling.

"Who is conceited enough to need a mirrored ceiling?" Drax wondered in a whisper that really wasn't a whisper.

"Idiots like Peter and Loki. Now shush," Rocket retorted, turning to the right. Groot smiled at a couple of guests that passed them, edging as far to the other side of the hall as they could get, the woman clutching at her purse. "Rude," Rocket muttered.

"You would have taken it under different circumstances," Drax pointed out.

"…True. Still."

He stopped outside of a corner room. "They must've gotten paid nicely if they got such an ideal room on such short notice," Rocket observed. He pressed his ear to the door, listening. Above him, Drax and Groot did the same.

"You were going to leave me on that moon with that stupid cat!" one woman snapped.

"Erebu, I knew you were fine!"

"Did you? Or were you just saving your fashionista skin?"

"Ere, sweetheart-"

"We were supposed to be friends, Kutral!"

"Hey, I got us the money, didn't I?"

"No, you got _you_ the money. Am I just chopped liver to you?"

"And what if you are?" Kutral snapped.

One woman roared. Crashing sounds ensued, followed quickly by punching. Rocket grabbed Groot's arm and tugged them both to the side. Drax slammed one foot into the door, sending it crashing down. He charged inside, Rocket and Groot on his tail.

The hallway's gaudy carpet thankfully didn't extend in here, replaced by a deep blue. Unfortunately, the white walls and mirrored ceiling were also featured in here. Immediately to his left was what Rocket assumed was a bathroom, the door shut; to his right was a closet, already filled with clothes in Kutral's size. Beyond the bathroom was a pair of twin-sized beds, their silver silk sheets ruffled, the TV across from them turned to some news channel. Beside the TV stand was a dresser and a desk. Beside the beds was a grey couch in front of a glass coffee table.

The coffee table was shattered. In the middle, Kutral lay on her back, face and arms cut up and bleeding. Erebu pinned her down, straddling her, fists around Kutral's throat. Kutral hammered at Erebu, her fists a blur as she threw all her power and speed into the blows, but the larger woman hardly budged. Kutral's blows weakened with every hit.

Drax lunged forward, tackling Erebu around the waist. They tumbled to the ground, Erebu elbowing at him, rage smoldering in her expression. Drax avoided most of the blows, grabbing at her arms. He hooked her legs around hers, until they were locked together in a very awkward position, both people struggling against the other.

"Tie up Kutral," Drax grunted. "I can hold her."

Rocket hastened to obey, slipping his pack off his back. Groot jumped on the bleeding, coughing woman as she tried to stand, trying to hold her down. She lashed out with a snarl, snapping one of Groot's fingers. He yelped in indignant pain.

"Hey!" Rocket growled, pulling two pairs of cuffs from the pack. Dropping one, he grabbed for her wrists. With Groot helping to hold her, he managed to shut a cuff around first one, then the other.

Immediately, she started kicking. Rocket grabbed the second pair and snapped them shut around her ankles. She struggled further, but cuffs were one thing Rocket didn't skimp on – they were expensive, and for good reason.

With a grunt of effort, Erebu broke free of Drax's grip. She punched his face, leaving him stunned, and started to run for the door. Rocket and Groot grabbed for her legs, but she dodged, evidently more nimble than she looked, knocking both of them aside as she ran for freedom. Rocket reached for his stunner, scrambling to get into position to fire.

He never got the chance to shoot.

The moment Erebu hit the hallway, vivid blue electricity shot into her side. She stiffened, falling like a log, writhing for a few moments before finally going still. Rocket tensed, aiming his blaster out of the door.

"Do me a favor and don't shoot."

Rocket dropped the blaster. "Dey! What the hell are you doing here?"

Dey stepped into view, kneeling down to cuff Erebu. "I felt guilty that Nova Prime denied you the help. I get why, but- don't tell her I helped with the bust. All right?"

"Hey, I helped too," a second voice said.

" _Kraglin_?" Rocket exclaimed.

The Ravager stepped up, giving Rocket a little wave. "Dey called me. Couldn't bring in the crew on his word, bein' a cop and all, but, well, I ain't gonna ditch Pete." He whistled abruptly, sending the arrow flying by Rocket close enough to brush his fur.

Kutral screamed as it sank into her hand, reaching for her ankles in a bid for freedom.

"I'll help Dey get her outta here, but I'll be back for that," Kraglin said, pointing at the arrow.

"I'm afraid you've only got till then to get the answers you need," Dey warned. "I've got orders to take in the prisoners the moment they're caught."

Rocket nodded. "Go. We'll get what we need."

Kraglin and Dey dipped their hands, then started hauling Erebu away. Rocket turned on his heel, glaring at Kutral. On her other side, Drax rose to his feet, towering over them all. Groot went to guard the door.

Drax hefted Kutral up onto the bed with one hand, grabbing her arm and dumping her there. She smirked, the corners of her mouth wavering every so slightly. "You won't get the answer you want, not in the time you have."

Rocket leveled his blaster at her. "Oh, really?"

"If you kill me, then you definitely won't," she sneered.

"Fair point," Rocket acknowledged, holstering the weapon. He pulled a little knife out instead. Drax gripped Kutral's shoulders, pinning her down. "But I can give you a taste of your own medicine."

"That wasn't even me," she said, rolling her eyes. "That was Ms. Kitty Claws. She really had it in for him. Annoying, and contradictory to the plan, but I will admit that it was amusing to see an Asgardian prince acting like a terrified child."

"Where is Beb, anyway?" Rocket asked, suddenly realizing she wasn't there.

Kutral shrugged. "Probably having the time of her life. She went with your friends, you see, so she could keep having her fun." She went on, her voice slowing as if she were savoring the idea. "Loki is probably tied to a table, being sliced wide open, screaming for his dead mommy."

Rocket lashed out, sinking his claws into her flawless cheek. "Ow!" she yelped, raising a hand to feel the damage.

He held his knife over her arm. "Tell me where they are," he snarled.

"You're _heroes,_ " she said venomously. "You'll never do it."

Rocket adjusted his grip on the knife, preparing to sink it into her arm. Drax tightened his grip on her, ready to hold her still. Kutral leered at them, her face a mask. But something glimmered in the depths of her green eyes. Something Rocket recognized.

_It compromises you. Even if you're doing it for the right reason._

Rocket had been on the verge of this before. So had Peter. So had Drax. So had Gamora. But in the last couple years, none of them had ever done it, no matter which one of them was in danger. Because Loki was there, holding them back, the trauma of his own torture glinting in the cracks of his mask as he saved even the scummiest scum of the galaxy from his own fate.

_No one deserves that,_ Loki always said, standing between them and the would-be victim, fire in his voice. _Absolutely no one._

"You're right," Rocket said. "But we're also former prisoners. So we'll let you escape, if you tell us."

Kutral narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't."

Rocket flicked his ears at Drax. Bemused, he stepped back, releasing her. She sat up, her gaze flicking between the two.

"You're right," Rocket said. "We won't resort to torture. We ain't stoopin' to your level. But we do know what prison's like."

"Is that supposed to make me trust you? Some sort of bond?"

Rocket shrugged. "Trust us, don't trust us, I don't give a crap. Point is, I've been in 23 prisons – I know what it's like behind bars. And it's even worse once you've gotten a taste of freedom again. I'd be willing to spare ya that, _if_ you tell us where we can find our teammates."

Kutral tilted her head, considering the duo.

"You ain't got much time," Rocket urged, rubbing nonchalantly at the blood on his claws. "Those guys'll be back any minute now."

She dropped her hands with a ragged sigh. "We sold them to a man called the Grandmaster."

Rocket bit the inside of his cheek, suppressing an exclamation at the familiar name. _I thought he was dead, the way they talked._ Loki, Valkyrie, and Thor didn't mention him often, but Rocket liked to remember and laugh at dumbass names. His qualified.

Kutral was still talking. "You're lucky – normally I wouldn't know this much, but he's a talker, that Grandmaster. He's building some gladiator competition thing, on some planet called Iietera. If they get there, you won't have a chance, but if you found Ailiv, the planet where we stored them, go there. About halfway between that and Iietera is a little refueling port on a dwarf planet. It's nothing special, but it's their only option, and if they don't stop, they won't make it to Iietera."

"Dwarf planet halfway between Ailiv and Iietera," Rocket repeated. Kutral nodded. "Yup, got it."

She held out her wrists. "Now let me go."

"Nah."

"What?" she screeched. "But you said-"

"He lied," Dey said, coming inside with Kraglin and Groot. "He does that. Now, who's carrying you?"

She just spat at him.

"Guess I am," Dey said, throwing her over his shoulder. "Look, I'd love to help, but I can't go with you guys. I've gotta get these two back to Xandar."

Rocket nodded. "Thanks, Dey. We appreciate what you can give."

"I'm comin' with ya," Kraglin said, whistling to pull his arrow from Kutral's hand. It still bore the scars from the battle on Ego. "I ain't ditchin' till Quill's home."

Rocket straightened, bolstered by the day's successes. "What're we waitin' around for, then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had that Rocket-holding-back-on-Loki's-account bit planned for ages before I wrote this chapter. I love my boys. Morally dubious, but never when it really counts


	10. Chapter 10

Loki wedged himself into the corner, knees drawn up to his chest, staring blankly at the floor as he wrung his hands together. _You're never alone, my little prince,_ Mother had always told him.

" _Look at me, sweetheart," she told him gently, one night long, long ago, when he sought her out after yet another nightmare._

_He obeyed, his eyes wide and scared._

_She smiled. "Your father, your brother, me, Heimdall – we will always be with you. Even if we're not standing next to you." She tapped his chest, right above his beating heart. "We will always be here. Always."_

" _Promise?"_

" _I promise," she said fiercely, leaning forward to kiss away a new tear glistening on his cheek._

He closed his eyes. _Don't leave me now, Mother._

"Hello."

He opened his eyes, recognizing Mantis's soft voice. "Hey," he greeted.

She crouched beside him, not quite settling. "You are scared."

He heard the certainty in her voice, didn't bother denying it. "I am," he admitted quietly, looking down again. "This plan…"

She gave him a tiny smile. "The first time I fought beside these people, I was betraying the only family I had ever known. I did not even know if he _could_ be stopped. But I had to believe it would. I had to have faith."

Loki returned the smile wryly. "Belief and faith are far harder to come by when you've lived as long as I have."

She accepted that with a twitch of her head. Taking a breath, she reached out, tentatively resting her fingertips on his sleeve. "I can soothe your nerves, if you wish."

He moved her away with a light touch. "Thank you, but… no. I think… I think I have to do this myself."

She dipped her head, withdrawing her hand. "I will leave you to it, then."

Gamora brushed past Mantis as the young empath walked away. She sat beside Loki, brushing her fingers over his hand before pulling back. "You do realize you're not really doing this yourself, right?"

"Knowing and believing are two different things, Gamora," he pointed out.

"I know," she sighed. "After Thanos… I suppose it wasn't until after his death that I really believed I could be free of him. I knew I had to try, but…"

"But he gets in your head," Loki murmured. "In your heart. Until you're alone, and his path is the only path."

Gamora reached out, her hand stopping to hover just beside his hair. "May I?"

He bit his lip but nodded. She slid her fingers into his hair, cupping his head and easing him down to her. She kissed his forehead, not with a lover's heat, but a sister's tenderness. She lingered a moment, and Loki let her, almost leaning into the affectionate touch. _Am I starved of this anymore?_ he wondered.

_No,_ whispered that steadfast ember of hope. Except, it wasn't an ember, not anymore. He could feel it burning, small and hesitant, but warming him nonetheless.

"How sweet," Beb's sickeningly familiar voice purred.

Gamora released him, swiping away a tear that had escaped her eye. It took everything Loki had not to flinch away, instead lifting his gaze to glare at her. The guards that had disappeared after taking their dishes now stood behind her. They had guns, but they were holstered, right next to the devices that would zap them if they stepped out of line.

Beb placed her hand on the scanner, part of the forcefield vanishing at her command. The four Guardians rose, the other three converging on Loki as she stepped inside. Gamora grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers and squeezing for half a moment.

He pulled away from her. "Take me, and let them go."

"Aw, are we friends again?" Beb asked mockingly. "Whatever. Their lives aren't up to me, anyway. Yours, on the other paw… I have a few hours of fun ahead of me while we're parked."

She grabbed Loki's arm, digging her claws into his wounds. He clenched his jaw shut against a whimper, almost reaching for the others as they shifted towards him. "Move any closer, and I will make the next few hours even more painful."

Loki sucked in a breath, shifting his tension to a clenched fist. Beb began tugging him out, and if she noticed him looking back, she said nothing. As they moved away, leaving the forcefield open for escape, the guards' hands hovered over their devices. Still holding his arm with one hand, Beb used her other to start closing the forcefield.

Before he could think better of it, Loki struck.

He grabbed the loose skin on the back of Beb's neck and slammed her face into the wall. It left a bloody imprint as she gasped, stunned. The guards started to press the buttons of pain. Heat began surging through Loki's veins. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he grabbed Beb and hurled her at the guards.

They went down in a heap. Sudden relief from the building agony drove Loki to his knees. Precious seconds were wasting as he clutched at his neck, chest heaving, but he couldn't make himself move.

"Loki!" Gamora cried.

"You're almost there, buddy," Peter encouraged. "You just gotta let us out."

He saw a guard stirring, reaching for his device. Saw Beb stirring, her bloodied claws reaching for Loki. Panic surged through him. He lashed out, socking Beb in the jaw, knocking out the two guards. He grabbed one of the devices, pressed the button, and the obedience disks clattered to the floor.

He kicked Beb, just to make sure she was out, before grabbing her paw. He staggered to his feet, his entire body protesting, and hauled her back to the scanner. It activated beneath her touch, and in a wave of gold, the forcefield shut down.

Peter ran out, tugging both women along with him, releasing their arms the moment they were free. He darted to Loki's side as he started to fall, easing him to the ground and helping him lean back against a wall. Gamora knelt on his other side, resting one hand in his hair.

"Can you walk?" she asked, glancing around.

Loki just groaned, pressing a hand over his stomach. Peter squeezed his shoulder, taking stock of their situation. "I think those three are out. We can give you a minute, but we've gotta move."

Loki lifted his wrist. "Keys?"

"Ah, right," Peter said, moving to Beb's body while Mantis checked the guards. They searched thoroughly, double-checking, triple-checking, but eventually sat up. "They must be somewhere else. I know I saw Beb take them from Kutral."

Peter returned to his side, pulling Loki's arm over his shoulders. Loki stumbled to his feet, leaning heavily on Peter, while Gamora steadied him with a hand on his back. She pulled away, taking the lead as they crept down the glaringly white corridor. They stopped at every room they found, Gamora and Mantis disappearing into it to search for the keys. Occasionally, Peter and Loki overheard grunts and smashes as they dispatched a guard or two.

Each time, they returned empty-handed.

"No," Loki protested as, finally, Peter tried to guide him outside. "No, I _need_ these cuffs off-"

"I know!" Peter interrupted, half-turning to him. "Believe me buddy, I want them off too, but if those two didn't find the keys, they're not on the ship. The Grandmaster probably took them just in case this exact scenario happened."

"Oh, oh this is cute, you guys are trying to escape!"

Peter jumped outside, landing in a patch of loose dirt that puffed up around his feet, yanking Loki out and shoving him behind him. A small town full of rickety wooden buildings rose up to their left, faintly lit by the growing light of dawn. The Grandmaster and five guards faced them, five blasters aimed at them.

On the Grandmaster's belt, glinting in the dawn light, was a familiar pair of keys.

Loki stared at them, rubbing at the chafed skin around his cuffs. Mantis slid back, taking Loki's arm, clutching her stolen blaster. Peter and Gamora paired up in front of them, aiming their own stolen blasters right back at the guards.

"Come now, people, I want to take you alive!" Grandmaster exclaimed, as if their rebellion was sincerely confusing him. "Well, uh, not Loki, but, well, three out of four isn't bad, right?"

"We're leaving," Peter stated. "All four of us. Now."

Grandmaster sighed, dropping his arms. "Fine." He gestured at the guards. "Dispose of them. We'll leave when you're done."

For a moment, everybody stared, evidently having the same thought: _That's just a waste of money._

Then Grandmaster, one foot inside of his ship, gestured more vehemently. "Do it!"

"No!" Gamora shouted as he started disappearing inside. She fired off a few cover shots, all of which missed narrowly, as she lunged for him. The guards turned on her, firing simultaneously. Most of the blasts just scorched the hull.

One hit its mark.

"Gamora!" Peter shrieked, firing desperately at the guards. He grabbed Loki with his free hand, dragging him away to shelter behind some barrels. Mantis scurried to join them.

The energy blast caught Gamora in the ribs, scorching right through her shirt. It slammed her back against the ship before she crumpled to the ground. Where she stayed. Unmoving.

But she had succeeded. Her hand was locked around the Grandmaster's elbow, bringing him down with her. He shook her off, grumbling, brushing dirt off his golden robes. "Stupid revolts. Why I even bother-"

At his hip, the keys clinked together.

_She risked her life for me._

_She took that hit to get to those keys._

Grandmaster rolled her over, feeling gingerly for a pulse. Gamora twitched a little, her hand moving as if to bat at him, but it hardly moved an inch before going still again. Her eyes opened, the light within them fading, her lips forming a soundless word. She shuddered in pain, but still she focused on the keys, still she tried to reach up to grab them.

_For me._

"Get off of her!"

The shout tore from Loki's lips before he could think better of it. Ignoring the pain burning through his arms and torso, Loki burst from the hiding place. He crossed the space between them in two strides, one arm thrown in front of his face as if that would save him from the hail of blaster fire, and bodyslammed the Grandmaster.

They skidded, Grandmaster slapping at Loki. There was surprising strength behind the blows, but they were wild, clumsily aimed, as if he were an annoyed little kid slapping at his sibling. Loki grabbed his wrists, pinning them together in one hand, and cracked his cuff over the Grandmaster's face. Something cracked, blood spurting from the wound, and he went limp.

"Good job," Gamora praised from behind him, her voice hardly above a breath.

Loki dropped Grandmaster's arms, scrambling backwards. He yanked the keys from his belt. There were three, one for the chain that had never been reconnected, and one for each wrist. Loki chose one, tried it on both wrists, but it jammed in both. He tried the second on his left wrist, getting the same result. Then he tried it on his right wrist.

It popped open, falling to the ground. Strength flooded back into Loki, a tsunami of power that made him throw his head back in ecstasy. It coursed through him unchecked, powerful enough to snap the other cuff in two, doubling the magical energy surging within him.

It burned, sizzling against every atom of his being, threatened to pull him apart. Emerald power emanated from him, stopping any blaster fire that reached him in its tracks. Only then did he work to rein it in, siphoning some of it to where it normally lay within his core, waiting to be called on. It pulled his atoms back together, sped up the healing process, knitted his wounds back together, banished the weakness from his muscles.

He reached blindly behind him, grabbing Gamora. Energy flooded into her, making her jerk against his grip, choking on a scream. Loki directed it to her side, soothing the burns, rebuilding the damaged flesh, fixing the ruined shirt.

Golden light began mingling with the emerald. His dirtied, ragged clothes melted away, replaced by his familiar black and green leather with accents of gold armor. Dirt and grease lifted from his skin and hair, the long black strands untangling and curling back to their natural glory. The familiar weight of his horned helmet settled over his head.

"The prisoners- What the _f_ … _u_ … Sh-"

The light still glowing around him, Loki rose to his feet. His eyes snapped open, landing on the guards that had shot Gamora, on the ship that had imprisoned him, on the torturer now standing in front of him.

With a roar, he flung the remaining excess power at all of it, all of them. The guards disintegrated. The ship shattered, debris flying into the empty landscape beyond its hull. Grandmaster stayed, chains appearing around his wrists and ankles.

One rope of emerald wrapped around Beb's throat. Loki held his arm out, summoning her. She dug her heels in, eye panicked and huge, struggling. It made no difference. Loki's fist still wrapped around her throat, icy cold biting into her flesh.

"P-please-"

"Begging did not save me," he hissed, glowering down at her. "And it won't save you."

With one last surge of power, he crushed her throat in his fist. Crushed her body with his magic. Until there was only a tiny pile of residue by his feet.

"What the _hell_?"

Loki looked up, past the rapidly disappearing light, to see a Ravager, a heavily tattooed grey man, a tree, and a raccoon.

"Who the… who are you people?" Loki rasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between this and Hidden Heartbeat, I think I have a thing for letting Loki have a really triumphant moment and then immediately yanking the rug out from under him...


	11. Chapter 11

Peter's jaw dropped at the sight of Loki on his knees, head thrown back, surrounded by a writhing, sparkling cloud of his familiar emerald magic that Peter could hardly see through. The blaster slipped from his grip, clattering to the ground. A tear tracked through the layer of grime on his face, terror for Gamora pounding in his heart, spiking as she screamed at Loki's touch, soothing as the wound – _and her shirt, yay, she loves that shirt_ – healed, leaving her upright and leaning away from Loki's power.

The gold light shimmered to life, glowing beneath the layer of emerald. The responsible leader side of Peter knew he should stop Loki, keep him from murder, keep him from revenge, but something told him there was no cutting through that cloud of pent-up emotion. Not by him, not Gamora, not Val, not even Thor.

So he crouched there, beside Mantis, staying silent as Loki's revenge obliterated the guards, the ship, and finally Beb.

Only as it faded did he risk rising, stepping towards his lover and his best friend, Mantis following him. Gamora rose hesitantly, still holding her side in disbelief. She and Peter reached for each other, sinking into a one-armed hug, tight and relieved. But their attention was on Loki, shaking as the surge left him, as if he had just been on a fancy adrenaline rush.

"What the _hell_?" a familiar voice exclaimed.

Peter looked up, a grin growing on his face.

Until Loki spoke.

"Who the… who are you people?"

Rocket and the others stopped, exchanging confused looks. Gamora grabbed Loki's shoulder, turning him towards her. "Don't you remember them now? Don't you remember us?"

Loki furrowed his brows, scrubbing at his face. Magic sparked from his fingertips. He was barely upright, his legs visibly shaking, but when Mantis reached out to steady him, he jerked away. "I don't remember," he rasped. "I don't- There's nothing-"

He spun into action, a dagger appearing in his grip. He lunged for Gamora, grabbing her by the hair, pressing it to her throat. "You lied," he snarled. "This _is_ some sort of ruse-"

Peter snatched up the blaster Mantis still held, yanked the helmet off Loki's head, and smashed the blaster against his temple. Loki crumpled to the ground.

"I am Groot!" Groot yelled, half confused, half enraged.

"What the hell is going on?" Rocket demanded.

Peter just looked at Gamora, now rubbing her throat. "And you said I wouldn't knock Loki out," he attempted to joke.

Gamora just stared at him, hands held out as if to say _Really?_

\-----

When Loki awoke, he was lying on a soft bed, a blanket draped over him. Music blasted from somewhere to the left, a young woman singing _Oh, oh, oh, it's magic, you know._ Quieter, someone hummed along, and farther off, Loki heard faint voices. He cracked open his eyes, and as soon as the light hit, pain flared in his head.

"Ow!" he groaned, poking at the aching part of his temple. A layer of bandages greeted his fingers, the pressure sending another pulse of pain through him.

"Yeah, you might- you might wanna fix that," Peter said, the music volume rapidly turning down.

Loki sat up, pushing the blanket off, forcing his eyes back open to check out his wrists, fingertips trailing over leather and bare skin. Emerald light rippled out of his open palm, weaving around his arm as it climbed to his injured temple, prying the bandages off, healing both the skin and the concussion.

The music cranked back up: _It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so!_

Loki glared at Peter, sitting in a chair by a window with a view of stars drifting by. He spotted a trash can by the room's door, and with a jerk of his head, Loki tossed the bandages into it. Peter watched, one eyebrow arching.

"Damn, you really are just showing off right now."

"And what exactly would you do if a part of you had been locked up, so close but so utterly useless, for months?" Loki challenged.

"It's only been a few days, Loki," Peter pointed out gently, twirling the little black device in his hand around.

Loki eyed him warily. "Why knock me out the moment I realized I remembered nothing, if not to give yourselves more time to add to the lie?"

"One," Peter said, quieting the music, "you were holding a knife to Gamora's throat. She had almost died like a minute before, so I panicked. Sorry about that. Two, if we really wanted to keep up the lie, you never would've gotten your magic back."

Loki flexed his hands, letting the magic twist around his fingers. "True," he allowed, searching around the room. The door, which the voices were coming in from, was open to an empty hallway. The closet was open too, revealing a wardrobe of leather outfits in his preferred black and greens, hanging above a few hoodies and sweatpants folded on the floor.

He froze on the nightstand.

On it sat two picture frames and a sketchbook. One frame was digital, switching between two similar pictures. The first showed him embracing a gorgeous woman, his hair falling down to brush against hers as they kissed, eyes closed to savor the contact; Thor was behind them, holding a pair of curled fingers over both their heads. In the second, Thor had dropped his hands and Loki and the woman were no longer kissing; instead, all three were laughing, Thor's arms wrapped around their shoulders.

"Valkyrie?" Loki guessed, pointing at it.

"Yup," Peter confirmed. He pointed at the second frame, adjusting as he listed off the names. "And there's Drax, Rocket, and Groot."

The other photograph was a group shot. Loki stood next to Peter, who had one arm thrown across his shoulders, his other wrapped around Gamora, who was leaning over him, apparently saying something to Loki. Mantis was on Gamora's other side, Drax behind both women. On Loki's other side stood Groot, Rocket in front of the two of them, holding Groot in place.

The Asgardian shots held an air of familiarity, of extreme closeness and ease. There was no hesitation in their touches, no awkward distance, nothing fake in their grins or the love in their eyes. The Guardians shot didn't hold that same ease, but the seeds of it were there, in the way that Loki wasn't leaning away from Peter, in the hints of happiness in his eyes.

"That was the day you decided to join us," Peter explained. "Pretty much the moment, actually. All three of those shots. Your goodbye to Thor and Val, and your hello to us."

Loki picked up the sketchbook, open to a picture of the seven Guardians sprawled out on a carpet of lush grass and bright flowers beneath a sunny sky. Gamora was perched on Peter's lap, the little black device displayed beside them with little music notes around it. Groot was eating a flower, Mantis laughing at him, Drax watching fondly. Rocket and Loki were talking, sharing a bowl of some sort of candy.

"And this is recent," Loki guessed, sensing the same familial closeness in the drawing that he got from the Asgardian photographs.

"Couple weeks ago, actually," Peter answered, peering at it. "You haven't shown us that drawing yet. Then again, you usually don't, cause you're still paranoid about being mocked."

Loki huffed, flipping through other pages. "You would be, too, after a thousand years of my family."

"Probably," Peter agreed. "But Thor's cool now. Some of your stuff's even gonna hang up in the Asgardian palace. Once that's built, anyway."

"Really?" Loki asked, pausing on a shot of Gamora and Valkyrie leaning on a balcony, hair waving in the wind, drinks in hand as they chatted.

"Yup," he said. He tilted the picture towards him. "Damn, that's a good one."

"Do you… do you want it?"

Peter smiled. "Thanks, but I think we should wait for… your brain to get fixed before we do much."

Loki turned back to the garden drawing, staring at it. _Something_ tugged at his mind, something brought on by the drawings, the pictures, this room… But when he got close to putting his tongue on it, it slipped away, back into an oblivion he couldn't penetrate.

"How?" he asked quietly, looking up at Peter.

Peter sighed, ducking his head for a moment. "I don't know," he admitted. "But first, we've gotta go to Xandar, drop off the Grandmaster. And Kraglin."

"Kraglin?"

"A Ravager friend. He came out to help the others rescue us, and now he's gotta sneak back to his crew and pretend he wasn't helping the good guys."

Peter stood up, gesturing at the door. "We should be getting to Xandar soon. Come on."

Loki set the sketchbook aside, following Peter out. He pointed things out along the way – things like "That's Rocket's junk heap, don't touch it." and "There's the kitchen, and bathroom – yes, we only have one for all seven of us, it's a nightmare." Until they were climbing up to the cockpit, where Rocket sat in the front left seat, Drax in the front right, and Groot in the back, with Gamora and Mantis standing off to the side.

"Sleeping beauty awakens!" Rocket announced, glancing back. "Good to see ya up and around again, Loki."

"Indeed," Drax agreed, dipping his head.

Gamora smiled, her own greeting smothered by Rocket. "Now, can ya turn that damn song off already Quill?"

"It's Loki's song!" Peter protested.

Loki stared, nose wrinkling. "I listen to that?"

"No," Gamora said. "Peter insists it's your theme song, and plays it to annoy you. Constantly."

"Forgive me for trying to jog his memory," Peter said.

"And what's your excuse the rest of the time?" Gamora retorted.

"Ok, then it's just fun."

"I like the song," Mantis muttered.

"Arriving at Xandar," Rocket announced. "Everybody grab a seat."

"He means that literally," Peter told Loki, taking hold of Groot's seat with one hand. Loki copied him, bracing himself; Gamora and Mantis took Rocket and Drax's seats, respectively. "We keep meaning to put more chairs up here, but, well, we're lazy."

Rocket piloted them down through the atmosphere, the bumpy ride stabilizing after a few moments as they descended towards a broad white landing platform that gradually came into view through a thick layer of pale grey clouds. The lack of direct sunlight didn't seem to make anything less blinding, though.

Peter, Drax, and Rocket went below to fetch the Grandmaster. Gamora led the rest of them outside, offering her arm to Loki as they emerged onto the tarmac. Loki took it, finding himself silently grateful for her familiar presence at his side as they approached a group of formally dressed people, headed by a lady with her pale hair wrapped in a braided updo, and backed by a line of armed guards. Gamora whispered names to him; Mantis stepped up on Loki's other side, hovering near but keeping her hands clasped in front of her.

"Greetings," the lead woman – Nova Prime – said as they neared.

"Hello," Gamora said, her voice holding a bladed edge.

Nova Prime smiled tightly. "I do apologize that I couldn't send my soldiers to aid in your rescue. I'm grateful everything worked out."

"Yeah, it really didn't," Peter grumbled bluntly. Grandmaster was at his side, gagged and cuffed, Peter's hand clenched tightly around his arm. Rocket and Drax flanked the prisoner, holding their preferred weapons. "Take this dude before I punch him."

At Nova Prime's nod, the guards hurried to obey. She maintained her tight smile, looking at Peter. "You are unharmed. Denarian Dey, please pay them."

The man standing to her right held out a unit chip, which Rocket took. They lingered ever so slightly over the contact, a silent understanding seeming to pass between them as their eyes met for half a moment. Then Rocket retreated to the group.

Peter stepped up to Nova Prime, bordering on invading her personal space as he towered over her despite her high heels. "Listen," he started, his voice low in warning. "I took a job from you, but you withheld vital information. Beb's connection to both Loki and Gamora got four of us captured, Loki tortured, and now Loki remembers _nothing_ beyond his time with Thanos."

"All hazards of the job, Mr. Quill," she answered sharply.

"My team asked for help," Peter snapped. "From you, I _expect_ that help, because _your people_ lost the prisoners in the first place. And now, I have to go explain to his brother, the _king of Asgard,_ what I allowed to happen because of you, and hope that his people can fix this. And if they can't, you just cost me a valuable teammate, my best friend. Do you understand that?"

"Mr. Quill-"

"I _said, do you understand that_?"

Her smile wavered, just barely managing to stay in place. "I will forewarn you about any connections to your teammates in the future."

"And?"

"…And I will send the assistance you ask for," she agreed through gritted teeth.

"Good," Peter said, turning on his heel. He jerked his head, not that the others needed the order to follow.

"Mr. Quill!"

"Don't look back, don't look back," he mumbled.

"I may know of someone who can help Prince Loki," she called.

Loki faltered, and Peter paused, glancing back at him. "Do you want to try that?" Peter asked. "Or Asgard's healers?"

"Asgard," Loki answered. That, at least, was more of a known than whatever she was offering. "But… it would be wise to have her information. Just in case."

Peter nodded. Visibly swallowing back his rage, he called, "Send us the info!"

"I will have Denarian Dey send you the relevant information," she replied.

"To Asgard we go, then," Peter said, climbing back into the ship. "You snuck away yet, Kraglin?"

Silence answered him.

"Sneaky dude," Peter commented. "All right, everybody take a seat. We're blowing this popsicle stand. Earth, here we come!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen I know the Guardians' thing is like 70s music, but. The Zune could have songs from as late as 2012. So I mean. Theoretically we could indeed get that random Selena Gomez or Hannah Montana something and I would literally die laughing if James Gunn did that


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lookie here, posting like right after midnight! Yeah, I've gotta socialize for hours, so I figured I'd post this now rather than like 10pm. I've been waiting to reveal this headcanon, I hope you guys enjoy!

Loki leaned on the back of Peter's chair as they dropped towards Wakanda, sunlit fields sprawling below them, people and animals hardly more than dots. They hit a shield, the capital city spreading out before them as they crossed it. Peter aimed the _Milano_ at a landing area beside the building Loki guessed to be the palace. A group of people awaited them here, too.

"You ready?" Peter asked, powering the ship down.

Loki looked at the awaiting entourage, recognizing his brother despite the eyepatch and haircut. _It's been years,_ he reminded himself. _The Bifrost fight is_ not _the last thing that happened between you two._

"Let's just… get this over with," he mumbled.

Peter led them out, clapping Loki on the shoulder as he passed. Gamora took Loki's arm, she and Mantis sticking close to him again. Drax and Rocket emerged behind them, Rocket looking around with a twitching tail as if he wanted to examine how everything worked. Groot trailed at the rear, buried in his game.

"Queen Ramonda," Peter greeted, bowing a little to the eldest of the group. It was in a humorous, exaggerated way, but there was also genuine respect in the way he lingered over it for a moment.

She smiled. " _Mholo,_ Peter. Gamora. Mantis. You three," she added to the trio in the back not paying attention. She softened upon finally focusing on Loki, everything from her stance to the look in her eyes to her voice. " _Omnye_."

" _Othandekayo,_ " Gamora whispered to Loki. "That's what you call her. It means wise one. The thing she called you means dear one."

" _Othandekayo,_ " Loki repeated, stumbling over the pronunciation.

Ramonda chuckled, squeezing his arm briefly. "Close enough, Loki."

Loki looked down at her hand, his own instinctively rising to cover hers. "There's a story here," he said, meeting her eyes. Smile lines crinkled around their corners, but pain hid in their depths.

"Always observant," Ramonda praised, her hand falling away. "But our history can wait. In the meantime, I shall leave you in the capable hands of your family and healers. Drax, Rocket, Groot – I can take the three of you to food, Shuri's lab, and a good place to play your game, if you wish."

Drax touched Loki's shoulder, catching his attention, and Loki nodded. "Go. I'm fine."

Ramonda rested her hand on Groot's back, guiding the teen forward, as Rocket and Drax followed them into the palace, flanked by Ramonda's guards. Loki watched them for longer than necessary, all too aware of Thor and Valkyrie waiting, the conversation they'd struck up with Peter while Loki talked to Ramonda winding down.

"Let's take this inside," Thor suggested.

Loki started at his familiar voice, finally turning to look at him. Thor smiled at him, the tender expression in stark contrast to the black eyepatch. Loki crossed his arms at the similarity to Odin, shoving back the memory of Odin still telling him he wasn't good enough, even as he dangled over an abyss.

"Can I…?" Valkyrie asked, gesturing at Gamora's spot.

Loki pulled away from Gamora before he could be asked _again_ if the contact was all right, and she went after Thor with Mantis and Peter. Valkyrie offered her hand, and after a brief hesitation, Loki took it. Their hands slid together, fingers entwining as if he'd done this a billion times before.

"You… you look my type," he said lamely.

She laughed, the sound making his heart flutter. "Thank the gods you didn't use that the first time you tried flirting with me."

They stepped from the Wakandan heat and sunshine and into the neutral-toned, air-conditioned palace. Thor led them in the opposite direction that the others had gone, and Loki couldn't help but admire the art adorning the walls.

"So… how are you?" Valkyrie asked.

"I don't know," he sighed. "Since we broke out and my magic returned, I've felt like I should know all of you, and recognize these places, but nothing is _happening._ This-" he jiggled their entwined hands, "this _feels_ familiar, but I just can't remember anything concrete. No matter how much I concentrate," he finished bitterly.

She brought his hand to her lips, kissing his knuckles. "We'll get you fixed up. We've come back from worse."

"We have?"

It was meant as a genuine question, but he winced at the morbid implications.

Valkyrie nodded. "We have. We've come back from near-fatal wounds and illnesses, from death, from depression and PTSD… We can beat this."

"I hope you're right," Loki murmured, ducking her head.

She flashed a smirk. "I always am."

Thor came up as Loki laughed; behind him, the three Guardians were stepping into a room. "It's good to hear you laughing, brother. May I have a moment?"

Valkyrie nodded, slipping away to join the others. They held on for as long as they could, leaving Loki's hand floating in empty air, reaching after her. Thor nudged it down, a smile playing across his face. "Smitten as always, are we?"

Loki pursed his lips, opening his mouth to retort. But he faltered when he looked at his brother, remembering his cry as Loki let go. Remembering saying the words _I'm not your brother. I_ never _was._

Thor huffed awkwardly, ducking his head and scratching behind his ear. "Peter says that you can't remember anything after Thanos's torture."

"More or less," Loki said.

"This is the _worst_ time," Thor said, crossing his arms. "After all those years, all that loss, all that rage, the two of us were finally a family again."

"So I… I really did apologize?"

"As did I," Thor replied. He tilted his head a little, considering Loki. "You know, I thought you'd be angrier."

Loki looked down, shuffling his feet. "I don't… I don't remember, obviously, but I think… I think that came later. But now, I'm- or, at the point I last remember, I wasn't… It had been months, alone and in constant pain, with no end in sight… I wasn't angry. Or depressed. I was just trying to survive. Or… maybe I wasn't. I don't know. When you're in a living hell… There's not much of a distinction between life and death."

For the first time, someone acted without warning. Thor moved in, hugged him tight. Loki froze, shock giving way to confusion before the tears finally started burning at his eyes. He hugged back, clutching onto his brother with all of the stress and agony of the months he remembered powering his grip. Thor steadied him as he shuddered, soothing him, Loki's breaths hitching as he held back the tears.

"Gods, you have no idea how much I regret not being able to do this all those years ago," Thor whispered.

Loki turned his head, pressing his face into Thor's neck, letting the action speak for him, knowing that if he spoke, the tears would be unstoppable. And he had a healer's appointment.

"All right," Thor murmured as Loki sucked in a deep, shaky breath. He separated slowly, cupping Loki's face with one hand, leaving the other on his shoulder. "All right, are we ready now?"

He took another breath, this one steadier, and wiped the unshed tears from his eyes. "Yes. Yes, let's fix this."

Thor nodded, fully releasing him, and they stepped into the room. It was a small medical room, with technology that Loki didn't recognize sitting on either side of the sole bed. The room was all a sterile white, the artwork replaced by Asgardian designs. A sitting area was set up against the wall opposite the door, where Peter, Gamora, Mantis, and Valkyrie had already settled, Peter and Valkyrie's feet propped up on the little wooden table.

A pair of healers stood at the foot of the bed. The elder of the two, a short, plump black Asgardian with silver stripes weaving elegantly through her thick hair came forward, a kind smile on her face. "I'm Eir," she said, extending her hand.

"I remember you. From before," he added hastily, seeing the reactions from the others.

"Yes, I tended your mother often," she said. "This is my daughter, Embla," she went on, introducing the second healer. She was thinner, with amber eyes and no silver in her hair, but otherwise, she could've been a clone of Eir. "Have a seat, please."

Loki perched on the edge of the bed, forcing his hands to rest in his lap. After lowering the bed so they were on eye level with each other, Eir stepped in front of him, angled to give him some privacy from the others. She placed her hands on either side of his head, closing her eyes to concentrate. Her magic sparked, slipping gently into his mind, probing for the injury, and it took conscious effort to keep his own magic from interfering.

"Are you resisting?" Eir asked.

"No," Loki answered.

"Odd," she murmured. "Embla, if you would?"

A second pair of hands joined Eir's, this time pressing down over his forehead and the back of his head. Embla's magic joined her mother's, the two like powers blending together in Loki's mind, warm and soothing. But they pooled together, surrounding one spot, one icy spot that refused to be penetrated.

"Prince Loki?"

He shook his head as much as their tight grips allowed, heart thudding in his chest. "It's not me."

Eir pulled back, as did Embla, the sudden lack of their healing magic leaving Loki shivering. Embla tugged the blanket up, draping it around him. He drew it tight, glancing between the two healers, hardly noticing Valkyrie coming over to wrap her arm around his shoulders and hold him close.

"Go get Princess Shuri, please," Eir asked her daughter. Embla dipped her head and slipped out of the room.

"What's wrong?" Peter asked, sitting up and planting his feet on the floor.

Eir spread her hands helplessly. "We found the memories," she started, "but we cannot reach them. There is a wall of some sort, and the prince is right: It's not his doing."

"Bleloter magic is not this strong," Gamora pointed out, confused. "Any one of you should have been able to undo it alone."

"Beb said something about practicing for years to get it right," Loki said.

"Really? Did she say what exactly she did?" Thor asked. "Beyond, you know, the obvious."

Loki dropped his gaze to his hands, picking at his thumb. "She was a little too busy making me scream."

Valkyrie kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back as she did so. He closed his eyes. _Gods, I wish I could remember her._

"She was in jail. How much could she have practiced?" Mantis wondered. "You cannot go around erasing other inmates' memories."

The door reopened, admitting Embla, Ramonda, the other three Guardians, and a young woman Loki assumed was Shuri. "How many broken white boys must I fix?" she sighed, seeing Loki sitting on the bed. He leaned back, affronted. "Oh, heya Brunn!"

Valkyrie patted his shoulder, reaching across him to fistbump the princess. "That's just how she talks, Loki. Constant roasting."

Shuri approached the bed, waving everyone off to the corner. "Lie down, Loki," she ordered briskly, but now that she was closer, Loki could see the concern in her eyes. He obeyed, and an empty stretch of wall came to life, readings and images coming to life. Shuri scrolled through the images until a brain popped up, outlined in black and filled mostly by grey. But one part flashed green, a smaller part within colored bright red. She narrowed her eyes at it, manipulating the image, scrolling through information listed off to the side.

"I've never seen this before," she finally stated, shooting a glance at Loki.

"Seen what?"

"Human memory is stored in various parts of the brain, depending on what type of memory it is. You can still remember facts, so the type of memory we're concerned about is called episodic memory – events and stuff – which is stored in the neocortex. From what I've seen, Asgardians aren't very different. And this," she said, tapping the green part, "is your neocortex.

"Most of it seems to be working fine. But this red part… It's not. It doesn't seem to be dead or misfiring, it's just… not doing anything. Like it's frozen in stasis."

"And that means…?" Loki pressed.

She stepped back from the wall, taking a breath. "I can fix it. But… it will take time to figure out how."

Ramonda gripped his arm again. Loki scrubbed a hand over his face, biting back a frustrated sigh. "How long?"

Shuri shrugged, already losing herself in the data. "Days. Weeks. Months. I don't know. If there's another option, you might want to take it."

Loki looked at Peter. "There's one."

Peter clapped his hands on his knees and stood up. "At this point, what've we got to lose?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, actually researching how brains work to make magical ailments plausible


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, this marks the end of the last full month of updates - only three chapters to go! (And I hope all of you have been surviving the flood of HD IW gifs, I certainly haven't)

Peter wanted to refuel and resupply before they left again, and the others wanted a meal not cooked by a half-incompetent cook in their understocked kitchen. Loki didn't stop them, but he didn't join them. He had just found the nearest balcony and sat down, back against the railing, looking out over the city and soaking in the afternoon sunlight.

"I thought I might find you here, _omnye._ "

Loki closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the warm metal rods. "I was wondering who would look for me first."

A cushion dropped to the ground with a soft _thud_ before Ramonda sat on it. "I had amnesia once, when I fell down the stairs and hit my head. The expectations and hopes of those around you… It is frustrating. And exhausting."

Loki told himself to stay quiet, but between the lulling sunlight and her understanding tone, the words slipped out anyway. "I have to remind myself not to be afraid of Gamora."

She rested a light hand on his shoulder. "That is nothing new."

Confusion drove him to finally look at her, tearing his face away from the rays of sun. "It isn't?"

Ramonda shook her head. "Your memories of that year haunt you still, and she is an integral piece of them. But you have come to love her. I think that, perhaps, you even love her all the more for it."

Loki blinked, trying to make his tired mind work out her meaning.

"The two of you share… a sort of kinship," Ramonda elaborated. "A pair of Thanos's unwilling pawns, tortured into doing the despicable to save your own lives. But the two of you also escaped, and now work to do everything you can to compensate for what you were forced to do. And I believe that gives the two of you a support no one else can provide."

"And does she feel… anything?"

Ramonda tilted her head, considering. "She does not confide in me, so it is not my place to say for certain, but it would not surprise me."

"Hm," was all Loki said, thinking back on the last few days. She had seemed protective, even to the point of recklessness, yet more than ready to leave him alone. Did that mean anything?

"Enough thinking for now," Ramonda scolded gently, producing a wrapped food of some sort from the pocket of her sweater. "Snickers," she said. "Eat some."

Loki took the bar, sniffing at it. His stomach growled at the chocolaty scent, so he unwrapped it and took a nibble. "Oh my gods," he said, immediately taking a massive bite. "This is- so good-"

Ramonda flicked his ear. "Don't speak with your mouth full, Loki."

"Sorry," Loki mumbled, hiding his mouth with the back of his hand. He paused, swallowing his mouthful, considering the food and looking back at her. "You… Why do you remind me of my mother?"

She smiled bittersweetly. "That would be the story you sensed earlier, _omnye_."

Loki waited for her to start, taking another bite.

Ramonda clasped her hands over her knees, looking down at them as her gaze faded into the past. "I had a nephew, whose existence was kept a secret from me until it was too late. He was severely wronged by his uncle and the world, driving him to grow into a violent man. His heart was in the right place, but his mind…" She shook her head, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"I never got the chance to help him," she went on. "But you…" She took his hand, squeezing tight. "You are a prince, a god, and far, far older than I could ever hope to be. But when we met, when the battle was over, all I saw was a broken boy, starved for a guiding love in a cruel galaxy. Much like Erik was. So I decided to help Thor and Brunnhilde give you the love you needed. And I suppose, in the process, I began reminding you of Frigga. As time went on, we began moving beyond those initial reminders, until our bond became unique and strong on its own."

"Not mother and son, but… _othandekayo_ and _omnye,_ " Loki said.

"Indeed," Ramonda said, dipping her head. "It took quite some stumbling around before we settled on those names. We had crossed the point of simply Ramonda and Loki, but I will never claim to be Frigga."

Peter poked his head out of the doorway. "Hey, uh, hate to barge in, but we're ready to go."

Loki stood, biting back a groan as he forced himself to leave the sunlight. Ramonda rose as well, using him as a support. He started to head inside, but she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, turning him so she could kiss his cheek.

"No matter what, I will be here for you," she promised.

He smiled, resting his head against hers for a moment. "Thank you, _othandekayo_."

She stroked his cheek, tenderly nudging his chin up. "Good luck, _omnye_."

\-----

Peter let autopilot do the flying, feet propped on Gamora's lap as she watched the stars pass by. He just kept staring at the message Dey had sent. It contained only two pieces of useful information – Iekhinsoe, the healer's name, and Aglora, the planet's name. "Are we seriously trusting Loki's brain to some dude? We literally only know his name and what planet he lives on."

"Nova Prime has heard many stories about him," Gamora replied, humoring him despite his many times asking that already. "He is rumored to have healed many things others could not."

" _Rumored_ being the key word here," Peter said.

"We've had many successes based solely on rumor."

"Yeah, successful missions. This is _Loki's brain_ we're talking about this time."

Gamora rubbed his leg. "This was Loki's decision, Peter. If you want to go try to talk him out of it, then go ahead, but he could use a bit of hope right now."

"…Yeah, I'm gonna go talk to him," Peter decided. "He's in the dining area, right?"

"Yes," she said. "But, Peter-"

Peter ignored her, going downstairs. "Hey, L-"

Something smacked him in the forehead.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, spotting a screw hitting the ground by his feet. "What the he-"

A second screw hit his cheek. "Zip it!" Rocket hissed.

Peter finally spotted the reason. Rocket sat at the table, tinkering with something as per usual. And across from him, Loki slumped across the table, snoring slightly, head pillowed on his sketchbook.

"Oh," Peter said quietly. He crossed his arms. "You know, when Ramonda and I told him to rest, this is _not_ what we meant."

"It ain't what he meant either, but he wouldn't stop bugging me about those memories he drew, so I drugged his water."

"You _drugged_ his _water_?" Peter exclaimed, voice rising again.

"Shush!"

Peter gestured at their snoring sorcerer. "He ain't waking up! How much did you even dose him with?"

"He'll wake up in time," Rocket said dismissively.

Peter nudged Loki's shoulder. "Loki? Buddy?"

Loki started awake, just sluggishly enough that Peter could grab his wrist before he sent his water flying. "I can walk," he slurred, tone tinged with panic.

"Whoa, hey, you're safe, remember?" Peter soothed, quickly letting go of his wrist.

He pushed himself up, leaning heavily on his elbows. "Right," he muttered. "Why do I feel like I've been drugged?"

"You're just tired," Peter lied, glaring at Rocket. He at least had the decency to look a little guilty, subtly moving Loki's water away from him. "Come on, let's get you to your room."

Loki wobbled as he stood, but Peter caught him, ducking under his arm and leading him off. He half-fell onto his bed, head narrowly missing the wall. Peter sat on the edge of the bed. "You really wanna go through with this?"

"Imagine if you were stuck in the worst moment of your life, and Gamora's touch brought confusion and longing instead of comfort, and you remember adult Groot but not this Groot, and the others are strangers."

Peter winced. "So that's what's been going through your head?"

"More or less," Loki said. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "So yes, I want to do this. I can't live like this, Peter. Please don't try to talk me out of it again."

Peter sighed, resting a hand on Loki's leg. "I'm sorry, I just… You've been my best friend for a while now, and I guess it just never occurred to me that I could _actually_ lose you, cause Asgardian lifespans and all. But now…"

"I'm not dead, Peter," Loki pointed out wryly.

"But you're also not… you," Peter said bluntly.

"Torture does that to a person," he deadpanned.

Peter said nothing, rubbing at the phantom pain of Ego's tentacle stabbing through his chest, pinning him in place as his family and Walkman were crushed, as his mind screamed but his body failed him. And he knew that was nothing, absolutely _nothing,_ compared to what Loki had survived.

"Look," Loki said, levering himself up on one elbow to finally look at Peter. "I _want_ to remember this, and Thor and Valkyrie and Ramonda. I've been here, I've been to Wakanda, and I _know_ , I _feel_ that I have a home and a family. Whatever spell Beb put on me, that much has broken through it. But I'm also stuck in those caves, where I screamed and screamed and screamed some more, where hell was a preferable alternative to life, and… and you have _no idea_ what that's like, and I keep thinking that all of this is a dream and I'll wake up to the cell door opening so I can be dragged off again. And anything is better than that life, Peter. _Anything._ Even being turned into a shell with no memories at all."

Peter swallowed. "That's, um… that's grim, buddy."

One corner of Loki's mouth twitched into a weary smirk. "That's my life."

"I know," Peter said. "Just don't give up on it, ok?"

Loki laid down, looking out at the stars. "I wish I could say I wouldn't, but… I'm tired."

"Get some rest, then," Peter said. "I'll wake you when we're there."

Loki said nothing, and Peter left, relieved when Loki didn't close the door after Peter didn't. Gamora watched as he returned silently to the pilot's seat, switching autopilot off and taking over, hands tight on the controls. "That bad?" she asked.

"This better work," was all he said.

\-----

Loki stepped into a field of bright yellow flowers bordering a forest of closely-crowded, vine-covered trees. Thick undergrowth drove Rocket upwards, leaping from tree to tree to avoid trying to shove through or jump over the bushes and sprawling tree roots. The others were stuck in single file, letting Drax lead to kick aside what he could. Loki didn't miss that Peter chose to walk behind him, close enough to bump into him when particularly large bushes tripped him up.

"Would you back off?" he snapped after maybe the fifth collision.

"But-"

"Peter," Gamora warned. Peter pursed his lips but backed off. Loki shot a grateful glance at Gamora, but she just gave him a silent warning of his own in return, concern simmering beneath it.

Loki sighed. _Why did I say that? Of all the things to admit,_ that's _what slips out?_

_You did try to end it all. More than once._

He gave himself a mental shake, banishing those memories before that utter despair and hopelessness could overcome him again. _If I didn't let go on the Bridge, Odin would have dropped Thor, too. And in Thanos's control… that was… extreme. But I have_ friends _here._

_Do you?_ his mind whispered. _How much do you really trust this? Them?_ Her _?_

Loki lifted his chin and forced his thoughts elsewhere, focusing instead on following Gamora and Drax. How exactly they eventually found the place, Loki wasn't quite sure, but after a couple hours, the forest broke, revealing a pair of log cabins surrounded by haphazardly-arranged plots of colorful herbs. Flags and ribbons hung from the trees circling the land, while little statues cluttered up the already-narrow walkways around the different plots.

Drax stepped aside, letting Peter slip into the lead as they carefully picked their way to the front door of the nearest cabin. It was labeled "No injury, go away!" in a few dozen languages, all sloppily hand-painted in different colors and in different stages of fading away. Peter knocked, immediately checking his knuckles for flakes of paint and brushing them off.

"You're not hurt. Can you not read?" someone called from inside in an angry, high-pitched voice.

"I can read," Peter protested. "But my friend is- well, he's not injured technically, but-"

"Put _him_ in front of the door then," the person snapped. "But don't step on my plants!"

They all looked down at the tight spaces they could barely fit into already. If they wanted to switch positions, they would all have to back out they way they'd come and then pick their way all the way back. "Hey, can't you kind of fly?" Peter asked. "You know, like Wanda- er, you don't remember her…"

"You use telekinesis to lift yourself up, I think," Gamora added much more helpfully.

"…I told you about that?" Loki asked.

"You were fallin' off a miles-high cliff into a raging ocean, you didn't have much choice," Rocket said. "Even you Asgardians ain't _that_ indestructible."

"Your face when you finally landed was quite amusing," Drax laughed.

"Come on, Loki, none of us wanna shuffle all the way back there," Peter urged.

"I hate this," Loki muttered. But he bent his knees, focusing his magic. It flickered to life, wrapping around his feet and hands like boots and gloves. Then he hauled himself up with his mind alone, wobbling the entire time as he struggled to lift himself. Drax and Peter backed up and Loki pulled himself forward. Finally, after a few moments that felt like an eternity, Loki let himself drop.

"Perfect superhero landing," Peter congratulated him.

"That is the most awkward use of my magic," Loki complained.

"You should practice it more," Mantis suggested. "That way you will not shake like a leaf every time you must use it."

_A fair point, but I'm not going to admit that._ "Can we come in now?" Loki called through the door.

The door cracked open, revealing a wrinkled face framed by bushy grey hair. He held a monocle up to his squinting right eye; his left was a blind milky white. "Hmm. Yes, I see your problem, young'un."

"Bet you haven't been called that in a few centuries," Peter whispered.

"You would be surprised," Loki retorted.

"Come in, come in," the man invited, swinging the door open. He grabbed Loki's hand and half-dragged him through the one-room cabin, cluttered with things Loki had no name for and divided by painfully colorful curtains, to another door. That opened to a tunnel that connected to the second cabin, also with only one room, but no curtains this time. It was just as chaotic as the garden, full of wooden tables of various sizes covered in potted herbs, with dozens of dreamcatcher-like objects dangling from the ceiling and pinned to the walls. In the exact center was a table covered in… dirt and grass.

"Lie there," the man ordered. He was a hunchbacked little thing, covered in robes that hung loosely about his scrawny figure. "I'm Iekhinsoe. Call me Ik," he said as he bustled around, plucking herbs from various spots, ducking between the Guardians' legs. Loki perched on the edge of the grass table, the plants making his bare hands itch.

"I said lie down!" Ik snapped, now mashing the herbs into a pulp. Grumbling, Loki obeyed, knowing there would be dirt in his hair when he sat up again.

"Your friend is suffering from a memory-blocking spell, correct?" Ik asked.

"Ye-" Loki started.

"Shush!" Ik scolded. "I was asking the Zehoberei."

"Yes," Gamora answered, shooting a glance at the others. "We don't understand why it has not broken."

"Yes, yes, he is a very powerful sorcerer," Ik agreed. "I understand why you mortals would be confused."

"He's not-" Peter started.

"Even Asgardians die. My kind does not. Therefore, he is mortal," Ik explained impatiently. "But that does not matter. What matters is that this is his only chance to regain his lost memories."

"What?" Loki exclaimed, lifting his head.

Ik pushed him back down with one wrinkled, surprisingly strong hand. "These hidden memories, they are largely traumatic, yes?"

"Yes," Gamora said, resting a hand on Loki's shoulder.

"As I thought," Ik said, donning a pair of thick yellow gloves. "This blockage is no longer from the Bleloter magic, but rather from his own mind. The simple fact is that he does not _want_ to remember."

"That don't make sense. He's been trying-" Rocket started.

"It is a subconscious ailment. I doubt he even realizes he is fighting them, and due to his own skill, it would take some extremely perceptive sorcery for another to realize it's him. But, once I apply this, he will most definitely realize," Ik said, scooping up a glob of sludge-brown herb paste onto one finger.

"Whoa, whoa, what's that gonna do?" Peter asked, sticking a hand out to intercept Ik.

"Do not touch this!" Ik hissed, jerking back from Peter as Peter jerked back from him. "It will induce a trance. I cannot tell you more, for it is different for each individual. But if an unaffected person touches it, it will wreak havoc on your memories. And if _he_ does not regain his memories by the end, he will never regain them."

"What?" Loki demanded again, shifting away from Ik.

"You could wait centuries for the same result," Ik said dismissively, pulling Loki back to the table. "It is either wait, or try this now. I will not take you in a second time."

Loki blocked Ik's arm, hesitating. "Has anything else ever worked for this?"

"No."

Loki glanced around at the others, at the faces that should have brought him comfort. His eyes asked the question he couldn't quite voice, and it was Gamora who replied: "It's your decision, Loki."

He locked eyes with Peter. The leader dipped his head just slightly.

He laid back with a sigh, closing his eyes. "Do it."

Almost before he could even taste the paste immediately being smeared onto his lips, unconsciousness swept over him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered for 13 weeks. I remembered while sunburnt and exhausted from vacation. I remembered while bouncing from house to house cat-sitting and running on fumes. But on week 14. On a Tuesday where I had absolutely nothing else to do. I forgot to post the new chapter. Because I thought the weekly arrival of the lawn guy was yesterday's "significant event."
> 
> Aka WHOOPS, sorry for the delay!
> 
> And this chapter contains the one part of IW I actually guessed correctly (well, the main point, the circumstances are wrong but. I got too close for comfort) while writing this fic and I really hate that I was right

Peter stood at Loki's shoulder, arms crossed tightly. He had gone pale in seconds, chest rising and falling in shallow, rapid breaths. Gamora stood on his other side, cradling his hand and stroking his hair. Ik finished smearing the paste and dumped the gloves in a rusty sink.

"You," he said, pointing at Mantis.

She jumped closer to Drax, twisting her hands together. "Y-yes?"

"You're an empath. Come here," he ordered, snapping his fingers.

She took a breath and edged past Gamora to stand by Loki's head. Ik dropped her hand onto Loki's forehead. Mantis sucked in a gasp, antennae flaring blinding white and tears rolling down her cheeks in the seconds it took to compose herself. Loki's breathing eased, not back to normal, but enough for a bit of stress to lift from Peter's shoulders.

"Good, good," Ik said, checking Loki's pulse. "Keep calming him. This will be a strenuous time for him."

"How long's this gonna take?" Rocket asked, perched on a chair to be able to see Loki.

"It could take another five seconds, or it could take another five days. It is up to him."

"Great," Rocket muttered. "More waiting."

Peter leaned against the table, uncrossing his arms to squeeze Loki's shoulder. "You can do this, buddy," he murmured.

_You have to._

\-----

Loki opened his eyes to a white abyss. As he squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust, black circles began popping up, just tall enough for him to walk through, their edges swirling like smoke. _All right… What am I supposed to be doing?_

"Loki."

Loki froze, swallowing down burgeoning hope. "You can't be here," he mumbled. "They said you were dead."

Her gentle hand rested on his arm. "I am, sweetheart, in the real world. But not here. Never here."

Slowly, Loki finally let himself turn around, and it took everything he had not to dive into her arms. "Mother," he rasped.

She smiled, lifting a hand to cup his cheek. "My little prince," she murmured, stroking her thumb across a new scar along his cheekbone. "How you've changed these last few years."

He pressed into her touch, catching her hand in his own. "You know what's happened?" he asked almost absently.

"Of course. I'm merely a manifestation of your subconscious mind, sweetheart. I know what you do – more, I suppose, considering your current state."

Loki had expected that. Of course _she_ wasn't _there,_ that was impossible. But… his heart sank, his hand falling back to his side. "None of this is real," he murmured unnecessarily. "It's all in my head."

She just kept smiling that gentle smile, that smile so full of love that a younger Loki had wondered how one person held so much of it. "Of course this is in your head, love," she said. "But why should that mean it isn't real?"

"I miss you," Loki whispered.

"And I you," Mother said. "But it is not your time to join me. Come, you have something you must do."

She took his hand and lead him forward, stopping beside one of the circles. Sounds emanated from it, too faint and jumbled to make out any details, but he recognized his voice, and Thor's. "These," Mother explained, "are your darkest memories. Here, put your fingers in."

Loki raised his free hand and hesitantly tapped at it. Smoke puffed up from his touch. Despair and regret hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, the sheer strength of them taking his breath away. He yanked his hand away, panting.

"What was that?"

She squeezed his hand, edging between him and the memory. "That was the moment on Sakaar when you realized Thor truly had accepted you weren't coming home. Of course, you had to go and prove him wrong, and your lives have been all the better for it."

Loki chuckled drily. "That… sounds like me."

"Thor has learned reverse psychology quite well since then," Mother said with her own chuckle. "It works wonders on both you and Val. Whom I approve of wholeheartedly for you, by the way. I wish I could have known her."

"If you're a piece of my own mind, aren't you obligated to say that?"

"I'm saying it because you know it to be true," she said. "Now, these memories – there are many here, as you can see. And Beb's spell gave your mind the ability to protect you from them. But, in order to regain them-"

"And what if I don't?" Loki interrupted. "If the others are anything like that… What if I just keep the good memories?"

"Oh, Loki," she murmured, cupping his face again. "If only it were so simple. But these memories are a vital part of your being. The betrayal upon discovering your true parentage is intertwined with you finally standing up for yourself. The guilt of everything you did as a result of Thanos's torture is inextricably linked with your eventual return to Thor's side, as well as your decision to join the Guardians. The grief of losing Asgard helped spur your relationship with Valkyrie.

"Sweetheart, you cannot remove the pain from your life. That pain is how you grew, and how you are still growing. That pain is a part of you, part of the you that Valkyrie fell in love with, part of the you that the Guardians accepted into their family, part of the you that helped save the universe from Thanos and does whatever you can to help Thor rule. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but… It's all or nothing, my love."

Loki leaned forward, and she pulled him in, hugging him close and kissing his cheek. "You have to fight this battle," she murmured. "I wish I could say it would end here, but it won't. You will keep fighting for thousands of years to come, but every day will be worth it. I can promise you, however, that if and when you win here today, future fights will become that much easier to win."

He clutched at her. It was tempting, _so unbelievably tempting,_ to just stay here, wrapped in his mother's arms. But she had maneuvered him closer to a separate memory, and in this one, he could hear voices that were so new to him, and yet somehow so familiar – Val, Peter, Gamora, Mantis, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Ramonda, more he had no names for – right alongside Thor.

And the possibility in those voices spurred him backwards, lifting his chin and squaring his shoulders, still holding her hand for support. But his voice was steady as he asked, "What do I have to do?"

Mother gestured around. "Most of these memories are from before the blockage – those, you need not be concerned about. But of the ones from that hidden timeframe, there are three. Three of your deepest, darkest moments that you have yet to come to terms with. You must enter each of those three and confront them. You must finally accept that they happened, and that you cannot change them. You must _forgive_."

"Oh," was all Loki could say for a moment. "That's… is that all?"

She chuckled. "It is indeed that simple, and that complicated, I'm afraid."

Loki bit his lip, looking around at all of the black holes. "How am I supposed to know which three are my worst?"

"You'll know, sweetheart," she promised direly. "You'll know. Just walk around."

With a glance at her, Loki obeyed, moving forward. They all seemed to reach for him with smoky fingers, calling to his heart with terror and agony and despair and guilt. Sometimes just one, sometimes up to all four, sometimes more. He skittered away from them all, pressing up against his mother. She just held his hand tightly, urging him to keep moving.

He stopped mid-step. Turned to one on his left that he had just been about to pass. Swallowing, he gave it the slightest of taps. Immediately, screams stabbed into his ears, explosions shuddered his body, and the guilt nearly drove him to curl up in the fetal position in Mother's arms.

"This one," he decided, voice trembling.

She nodded. "This one makes sense. I must stay here, but someone else will be along to help. You are not alone, sweetheart. You never are."

Loki squeezed her hand one last time. Then, with a deep breath and a sharp nod, he stepped into the memory.

\-----

The ship lights slammed off, replaced by a flashing red alert. Alarms began to wail, a disembodied voice ordering a ship-wide evacuation. Loki stumbled back, staring at the ship visible out the window. "No," he mumbled. "No no no no-"

"Loki!" Thor snapped, gripping his shoulders. "Loki, look at me."

"I'm sorry," he stammered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Loki!" Thor interrupted. "It's all right. If the Tesseract had stayed on Asgard, we would have died in the resulting explosion. What matters now is that you _have_ to get it out of here."

"What?" Loki exclaimed, panic abruptly subsiding. "Thor, that means-"

"I know," Thor murmured. They staggered as an explosion rocked the ship. "I don't want to be separated again either, but-"

"I'm not doing it," Loki stated. "I'm not leaving you to die!"

"We don't have a choice!" Thor yelled. "You know how to use it, and I have to be here to protect our people."

"Thor, I can't-" Loki started, his voice faltering.

"You _can_ ," Thor insisted, pulling him into a tight hug. "I believe in you, Loki." He stepped back, lightning crackling around his fist. "Now go!"

Loki nodded, turning and breaking into a sprint before he could change his mind. Explosions continued rocking the ship, throwing him into walls and civilians alike. He dodged around them, never halting his progress entirely, only ever slowing just long to shield the people from another burst of flames and debris. They parted to let him through, watching in a range of emotions he didn't care to decipher, but saying nothing.

_I just need to get to the_ Commodore _. If I take that, summon the Tesseract there, then Thanos will follow me. And they'll be safe. Thor will be safe. Val will be safe. Heimdall will be-_

Someone slammed into him, tackling him to the ground just as the wall beside him exploded. He curled up beneath them, throwing an arm over his face after a piece of shrapnel sliced into his eyebrow. They hunched over him until the explosion died down.

"Are you all right, my boy?"

Loki uncurled, twisting around to see Heimdall. "Yeah," he said as they both stood, Heimdall offering his hand to help him up. "Thank you."

He smiled, clasping Loki's shoulder over his now-ripped shirt. "Come. You must get to-"

His eyes darted to somewhere over Loki's shoulder, going wide in horror. Before Loki could react, Heimdall was spinning them around, shoving Loki back to the floor. Loki caught a glimpse of what had terrified him as he fell, a glint of flames reflecting off a blade. He stretched out his hand, magic rippling out from his fingers.

It died at the same moment Heimdall let out a choked gurgle. The dagger now protruding from his chest.

"NO!" Loki screamed.

With a grunt of rage, Loki spotted the attacker further down the corridor and hurled a bolt of magic. It struck him in the chest, and he collapsed, his triumphant laughter still on his face.

Then Loki scrambled to catch Heimdall, easing him down to lean sideways against the wall. He looked down at the dagger, bemused. "Huh," he rasped.

"You're gonna be fine," Loki said, breathy and panicked, tears burning at his eyes, hands fumbling as he pressed them around the blade. "I just have to- have to- just-"

He faltered as Heimdall lifted his hand, cupping his face. Heimdall smiled softly, just like he once had when Loki used to run to him for shelter after a prank. But this time, the gold was fading from his eyes, a tear slipping down his dirtied cheek. His fingers lifted once, weakly, coming back down in a tender pat that made Loki's soul sob.

And then his hand fell away, his plain brown eyes drifting shut, a final breath escaping his lips.

Loki screamed, clutching fistfuls of Heimdall's shirt. As if that alone could bring him back.

"I've been there, buddy."

Everything froze, from the flickering flames to the panicking people to the shuddering ship. Loki jumped back, and even Heimdall's shirt didn't move, clumped up as if Loki was still holding it. And Peter leaned on the wall across the corridor, looking mournfully down at Heimdall's body.

"So that's what happened to him," he murmured. "You never would say."

"What are you doing here?" Loki answered, swiping at his tears.

Peter pushed off the wall, tapped Loki's forehead. "We're in here, remember?"

And then everything from the last few days came flooding back, from the caves to the trip to Earth to the talk with Mother. "Oh."

"Yup," Peter said, looking around. "Damn. I knew you guys got wrecked, but this… this is a nightmare."

"Literally," Loki muttered. "All right, so, what, I'm supposed to be getting over… this?"

"I think specifically him," Peter said, pointing down at Heimdall. "I mean, you summoned me for a reason, and… dead father figures is the only connection I'm getting here."

"You have…?"

Peter smiled bittersweetly, crossing his arms. "Yondu. Things didn't start off so great, but… he did raise me. Taught me just about everything I know, gifted me my ship and my Zune. He saved me from my biological father, but when we were fighting him… Yondu died to save me. Even though I tricked him and abandoned him, he sacrificed himself without hesitation."

Loki sighed quietly. "Heimdall died so I could get the Tesseract off the ship, and I didn't even manage that. He died for nothing."

"Hold up, _that's_ what you've thought all these years?"

Loki furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

Peter pointed down at Heimdall. "You think he died for the _Tesseract_?"

"What else would he have died for?"

Peter scrubbed a hand across his face. "Oh, Loki. You are really smart, but you're also _really stupid_."

"Hey!"

Peter snapped his fingers, and the memory started rewinding around them. A duplicate Loki popped up, kneeling down in front of Heimdall. His hand rose back up to rest on Loki's face, and that's when the memory resumed. Focusing on that little pat.

"You see that?" Peter asked. "That little pat?"

Loki bit his lip, looking away. "I remember it. What about it?"

Peter tapped his own cheek. "Yondu did that same exact thing to me. He was suffocating, freezing, weak as all hell and getting weaker, and he used his last bit of strength to reassure me. If he were saving me only so I could keep doing my job, he wouldn't have bothered."

"So?"

"Dude. If Heimdall had only been saving you so you could save the Tesseract, he would've used his last strength telling you to go. Instead, he used his last strength to hold you and try to calm you down. He died as a dad, not a warrior."

"He…" Loki shifted, looking down at the dying man, at his tender smile. "He died for me?"

"Yes, you idiot."

"So I…"

He trailed off, looking down at Heimdall, at the soft, familiar smile he had only ever reserved for the two brothers. Loki sank into a crouch, gingerly picking up Heimdall's free hand. "So I didn't fail you," he murmured.

"Never," someone said, and Loki couldn't tell if it was Peter or Heimdall's voice.

The memory began fading around him, at the same time as he felt a great weight lifting from his shoulders. Somehow, he found the strength to smile. He bent his head, pressing Heimdall's hand to his forehead.

"Thank you," he whispered. "For everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So anyways, yeah, I really really really hate that I was right I miss Heimdall


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID NOT FORGET THIS WEEK. I've just been staring at the second half of this for hours. And I am... I still don't know if I'm happy with it. But I gotta post, so, hope you enjoy it!

Loki gasped as he found himself back in the white place, but Mother was there to steady him. "Well done, sweetheart," she congratulated him. "One down, two to go."

"Lovely," Loki muttered, checking his face for fallen tears. Beside him, the black hole still existed, but it had shrunk a little, and the pain within no longer reached out to drag him in and suffocate him. Still, he backed off, taking Mother's hand again.

After a couple more minutes of wandering, he stopped in front of another. This one filled him with rage, but beneath it, he was screaming. Battle echoed around it, the general screams more distant, but Thor's pain was close.

Steadying himself, he stepped inside.

\-----

Midgardian sunlight shone around him, surrounding him with a warmth Loki hadn't felt in a year. He stalked out of the tower's interior, golden light encapsulating him as he built his armor for all to see. The scepter lengthened, its wicked tip sharpening; his armor settled around him, shielding him. And finally, his helmet manifested on his head, its familiar weight comforting, its enlarged horns bold and ready to terrify. For the first time in a long, long year, Loki finally felt like a prince again.

_No,_ he told himself. _I am a king._

He had only a moment to bask in it before, predictably, Thor crashed down to yell at him. "Loki! Turn off the Tesseract, or I'll destroy it!"

"You can't!" Loki retorted. And he heard the desperation in his voice, heard the person he used to be trying to let on to his thickheaded older brother that there was _more_ at stake here than his own desires, but the person he had become rushed on, hardening his voice. "There is no stopping it. There is only the war."

"So be it," Thor said, the warrior he was seeing only the threat of the scepter pointed at him, hearing only the surface truth.

Loki leapt at him with a roar, slamming the scepter down towards him. The blow went wide, and Thor dodged easily, hitting back with nothing fatal. The person he once was screamed at him that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be fighting his own brother, who would've died to catch him, to fall with him, had Odin not shown up. That old sentiment kept his blows swinging wide, where Thor could dodge or block or walk away if he was hit.

_You fool,_ he hissed at himself as the battle went nowhere, the two brothers locked in a stalemate. _This is how you die._

Loki gritted his teeth, but before he could decide to fight harder, the quinjet appeared. He shoved Thor aside, and whether that was to get him clear of the firepower or just to leave himself clear to shoot, Loki couldn't tell. But when he took it down with a shot to the wing, that was the final straw for his brother.

Thor lunged at him with a cry of fury, a sound Loki had never before heard directed at him. He faltered under the new vigor in Thor's attacks, the rage for his human friends finally adding that near-lethal level Thor had been holding back from. Loki's grunts of effort turned to grunts of pain, and maybe that's what snapped Thor out of the haze of vengeance.

"Look at this!" he tried, pushing against Loki as they locked into a stalemate again moments later. "Look around you!"

And Loki did. He looked around at the chaos, the destruction, flashing lights and bright explosions and soaring Chitauri. Humans ran below, screaming, uniformed ones doing their futile best to fire back, some clutching children, using their bodies to shield them from the battle they were suddenly embroiled in.

_I caused this._

He had never seen what happened to Jotunheim. He assumed it hadn't been destroyed, but sometimes, in those darkest, loneliest moments where his hatred didn't exist, he had found himself wondering. Had he had any siblings there? Aunts? Uncles? A mother? Had he killed them all?

_And I'm doing it all over again. To other families._

"You think this madness will end with your rule?" Thor demanded.

And Loki looked back at his brother, caught the pleading in his eyes. And the person he had once been, the one who protected his friends and family, surged back to the surface. "It's too late," he gasped. "It's too late to stop it."

"No," Thor said, his grip softening, hope flooding into his voice. "We can. _Together._ "

Loki stared back at him, yearning to feel that hope, that emotion that had eluded him for so, so long. _Together,_ he repeated silently, the word echoing in his head.

_If you fail – if the Tesseract is kept from us… There will be no realm, no barren moon, no_ crevice _where he cannot find you! You think you know pain? He will make you long for something sweet as pain._

_Hope is a dangerous thing,_ snarled the man he had been twisted into. _A foolish thing. There is only one way out of this. And it does not involve this arrogant fool._

With a hint of a pained smirk, Loki plunged his tiny blade into Thor's side.

"Well, that was a dick move," Rocket observed.

Loki jumped back as the memory froze, whirling around to see Rocket watching Thor, head cocked and arms crossed. Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. "How are you supposed to be helpful in this? You don't seem like the therapist type."

"I dunno man, you're the one who picked me," Rocket said.

"That is _entirely_ unhelpful."

Rocket let out a ragged sigh. "Fine, Cow Lord. Whatcha thinkin' about here?"

Loki pursed his lips but cooperated, shrugging at his frozen brother clutching at where Loki's wrist should have been. "I… don't know, honestly. I had one goal walking into this invasion: Survive. And I had one plan to do that, and I wasn't going to let anyone interfere with it."

"This is right after the torture, right?"

Loki winced. "Yes."

He produced an apple from nowhere and bit into it. "What were you like before that, anyway?" he asked through the mouthful.

"Gentler, I suppose," Loki replied. "I was ready to kill, but only defensively."

"Didn't you stab Thor all the time?"

"For fun!" Loki said defensively. "He could always walk it off."

"…Right," Rocket said skeptically. "Anyways, you weren't a coldblooded killer until Thanos got his hands on you, and suddenly you were willing to conquer an entire planet, putting even your own brother at risk to accomplish your own entirely selfish goal."

"That sounds about right," Loki said, ducking his head.

"Ah," Rocket said, lowering the apple. "That explains it."

At Loki's glance, Rocket dropped his gaze, shuffling his feet awkwardly. "I was born a normal raccoon, ya know. Even had a family. 'Til I got experimented on, torn apart and put back together into… whatever I am now. A thief. A kidnapper. An arsonist."

"A Guardian."

"Yeah, I guess so," Rocket agreed. "But then, so are you."

Loki snorted. "Maybe now. But not here," he said, jerking his head at Thor.

"No," Rocket agreed again. "But you ain't a monster here, either."

"I attacked my own brother!" Loki protested.

"Yep, ya did. But, I'll ask again: What were you _thinking_?"

Loki shrugged, throwing his hands to the sides. "I don't know. I guess I was hesitating, in a way-"

"Bingo, Cow Lord."

Loki stopped, confused. "…What?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you're really, _really_ thick?" Rocket said in exasperation.

"Maybe," Loki muttered.

"Look, you moron," Rocket ordered, waving his tail to rewind. It resumed from the moment the fight started, and Rocket gave a blow-by-blow commentary of every near-miss, everything Thor escaped with little more than a bruise. And finally, it stopped as Thor urged him to help the Avengers, the single tear that had escaped Loki's façade shimmering in the sunlight.

"So? I already knew I was hesitating."

"That's the _point_ ," Rocket said. "You know what monsters do, Loki? They go for the kill. They swing their scepters at the opponent's throat, not the edge of his shoulder. They summon a much larger blade and stab it into a more fatal spot. And maybe you were manipulating him at the end there, but even you ain't good enough an actor to summon that single perfect tear that I doubt Thor even noticed."

"But I still invaded an entire planet," Loki protested.

"Because of _Thanos_ ," Rocket insisted. "Just like the experimenters tore me apart to put me back together how they wanted, Thanos tore _you_ apart to make you how _he_ wanted."

"And it worked."

"No, it didn't." Rocket gestured around. "Thor ain't dead, and Earth is fine. In fact, he and it are fine because _you_ helped end Thanos once and for all. Thanos never got the monster he wanted, Loki."

"Then how do you explain _this_?" Loki demanded, gesturing at the flames, the chaos, the _death_ surrounding them.

"You were scared and alone," Rocket answered. "Just like I was when I escaped. No friends, a family who's literally not evolved enough to care about me, and no idea what my place in the universe was. Sound familiar?"

_Laufey's son?_

_I'm not your brother. I never was._

_So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?_

_What, because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?_

_No, Loki._

Loki crossed his arms. "Yes," he admitted.

"You're finally getting it," Rocket said, smothering the hint of pride with gruff relief. "I turned to crime. You turned to fighting for a throne. But I found Groot, and you got Thor and Valkyrie, and then we both found the rest of the team. And when it counted, Loki, we fought for what was right."

"And monsters don't do that," Loki murmured, moving to Thor's side.

"No," Rocket agreed, gradually fading away. "They don't."

Carefully, Loki pulled the knife from Thor's side. "Thank you for seeing that even when I didn't," he murmured, glancing up at his brother.

Cape billowing behind him, Loki spun on his heel and flung the knife far, far away, watching it tumble and twirl until it disappeared from sight.

\-----

For a moment, Loki huddled on the floor, held upright only by Mother's arms. Sheer exhaustion, stronger than anything he'd felt before, weighed him down. He trembled, panting, struggling even to keep his eyes open.

"I know you're tired," Mother whispered, rubbing his aching arm, "but you must keep fighting, love."

"It's comfortable here," he mumbled, letting his eyes drift shut. "And… safe."

She pressed a kiss to his head, lingering over the contact. "I know. But you can't stay here, sweetheart." She rested her fingertips over his temple, and at the contact, voices rippled through his mind. They were hazy, individual words and conversations melting together, but he recognized the eight voices, their laughs echoing throughout alongside his own.

"Home."

The word escaped him, such was the warmth that filled him at the memories. Mother seemed almost cold all of a sudden. _Because it's not her. Not really._

"One more memory," she urged, helping him up.

Loki groaned but rose, clinging to those laughs, to those conversations he could _almost_ remember. He limped forward, hoping, praying that the next memory would be easy, and quick, and not confusing at all-

The one that caught his attention was different from all the others. Light grey smoke swirled around its center, hardly more than a handful of wisps, but they stood out like a bilgesnipe in a palace. He reached for it, but a sort of… bubble stopped his hand, preventing him from getting more than a vague sense of confusion.

"What is this?" he asked, pushing experimentally against it.

She touched it too, her own fingers meeting the same wall. "I… don't know."

Loki looked at her in surprise. "I thought you remembered what I don't?"

"I thought so as well."

Loki sighed. _So much for simple._

She grabbed his hand, stretching up for one last reassuring kiss on the cheek. "Good luck, sweetheart."

With every ounce of remaining strength he had, Loki kicked the wall down.

\-----

He crashed into a dark, icy abyss. Stony ground held him, his body sprawled out, but he couldn't open his eyes more than a crack, his eyelashes blurring and darkening what little he could see. Agony ricocheted through him at every breath. A twitch of his finger took almost more energy than he had.

Movement caught his eye, but outside of a single spiked heartbeat that felt like a stab to the chest, he couldn't react. A door closed, softly, as if someone was trying not to be noticed. The movement came closer, the shadows coalescing into leather boots. The person knelt, and a green hand set down a cloth bag.

_Green?_ he thought sluggishly. _I have only seen one green person here. And that cannot… that cannot be her._

The hand disappeared into the bag. "I know it's not real sunlight, but it's the best I can do," a woman's voice whispered. She withdrew a small orb. Upon shaking it, it glowed a warm yellow. Loki couldn't hold back a groan as the rays touched his skin, reaching down to caress his aching muscles, reintroducing him to a warmth he had almost forgotten existed.

She reached into the bag again, producing a bottle of water. "You should drink," she advised, slipping her hand beneath his head to hold him up. Her hair swung down between her and the orb, casting her face into deep shadow. He twitched, responding to the instinct to struggle, but then the cool liquid was sliding down his throat, soothing its scream-induced rawness, and he closed his eyes at the simple bliss.

"Easy, easy," she warned, pulling it back. "Not too fast, Prince."

Loki moaned but didn't try to struggle again as she set him back down. She rummaged in the bag. "Stitching you up would be too obvious, but I can clean you up a little," she said. "It will sting, so I'm going to put this in your mouth to bite down on, all right? I promise I'm _not_ gagging you."

Loki balked, but she had been gentle, and if she left, she would take that wonderful little orb with her. So he nodded. She slipped a soft, fluffy bit of cloth into his mouth that tasted like chocolate. And the moment she set to work, disinfectant burning despite her light touch, he found himself grateful for it, his jaw clamping down with a strength he didn't realize he still had.

"Shh, shh," she soothed, holding him down with one hand where he wasn't injured. "Please, for both our sakes."

He tried, clenching his eyes shut tight as he tensed his entire body to fight the pain. She worked steadily onward, working up his torso to his face. When she finally stopped, pulling the cloth from his mouth, he fell limp, panting.

She gave him a few moments to rest, stuffing the used supplies back into her bag. Then she picked up his head again, placing a single pill on his tongue and bringing the water back. "To help you sleep without dreams," she told him. At that, he swallowed eagerly.

As he settled back down, infinitely more comfortable than he had been, she draped a new tunic over him. "Rest now," she murmured, collecting her bag and stepping towards the door.

"Wait," Loki managed to croak, forcing his eyes to open. "Who…?"

She turned back slightly, hand resting on the door handle. "You know my name," she murmured. "And when you wake, you won't know who I am."

With that, she slipped outside, but Loki had gotten the confirmation he had needed from the tilt of her head.

Gamora.

Loki bolted upright, pain disappearing as he remembered he was in a memory. _She helped me._

_She didn't know me, and she risked her life to help me._

"Why wouldn't you tell me that?" he asked aloud, looking around. But no one showed up.

The memory shifted, the images swirling together, coalescing into somewhere new. The ashen skies of Svartalfheim stretched up above him, its rocky ground beneath him. With a start, he noticed his own limp body. Thor was walking away, red cape billowing in a brewing storm, and Loki couldn't tell if he was leaning on or shielding the person he walked with.

Time crawled by. And suddenly Loki sucked in a gasp, clutching at the wound in his stomach. "Thor?" he rasped weakly. "Thor? J-jane?"

But no one was there to answer.

"They left me to die," his voice said from his left. A third Loki, standing where another Guardian should have stood, glaring in the direction Thor and Jane had gone.

"No," Loki protested, voice wobbling. "Thor- Thor wouldn't…"

His doppelganger gestured sharply at where the memory struggled. "I couldn't get up for _hours_. I _saved_ them, and Thor thinks it's all a trick!"

Loki stumbled to his feet, facing off against the enraged doppelganger. "Have you given him reason to believe otherwise?" he challenged.

"Why would he believe me if I did?"

"Because he's my brother!"

"You tell him, then," the doppelganger sneered.

Loki balked. _How can… how can I convince him of_ that _? I don't even have a scar._

"It's not so simple, is it?" the doppelganger hissed.

The scenery shifted again, plunging him into his bed on the _Milano_ back in those awkward early days. Loki found himself observing again, his memory self curled up on the bed, eyes half open as a hushed argument filtered in from outside.

"You want to befriend him, I know you do, so just tell him, Gam!"

"All I'll ever be to him is his torturer, Peter. We all know that."

"Well, have you given him reason to believe otherwise?" Peter asked.

"Why would he believe me if I did?"

"Because he's our teammate," Peter insisted.

"You tell him, then," Gamora challenged. Silence fell, and after a few moments, she tacked on a bitter, "It's not so simple, is it?"

_Is that why you didn't tell me? Because you thought I wouldn't care?_

_It's the same reason you haven't told Thor you were actually hurt._

Mother's voice echoed in his mind: _You must_ forgive _._

Loki buried his face in his hands. "Oh, Gamora," he whispered. "Of course it matters. Of course I forgive you."

The memory didn't shift.

His doppelganger reappeared, laughing. "You really thought it would be that simple? You're a fool."

Loki swiped at the wall, dismayed when it remained solid. "But I… I forgave her. Was that not the point?"

"You truly are a _moron_."

Loki turned on his doppelganger. "You are not helpful!"

The memory rippled. For half a second, Loki was lying on his back, looking at the ceiling of the log cabin, the other Guardians gathered around him. Watching. Mantis, antennae glowing, gasped a little.

The _Milano_ quarters slammed back into place. His doppelganger came at him with a vicious punch, fist slamming into his jaw and sending him staggering into the wall. "Ow!" he cried out, clutching at his jaw. "What the-"

Rage suddenly surged through him, cutting off his own question. He whirled back on his doppelganger, lashing out and kicking it in the side. The doppelganger staggered, grabbing the nightstand for support, and the memory rippled again. The other Guardians were leaning forward now, faces intent. Gamora was supporting Mantis, and Peter was saying something he couldn't make out.

"You," the doppelganger snarled, "don't _get_ to _fight_."

Loki scrambled backwards as the doppelganger lunged forward, narrowly dodging him. It attacked again, catching Loki around the waist, sending them crashing through the door. He hit the ground with a gasp, his breath rushing out of him.

The doppelganger wrapped its hands around his throat, squeezing. "You're pathetic. You can't do what it takes to survive. It's _my_ turn to run this meager excuse for a life."

Loki pried at its fingers. "You… you sound like… me after Thanos…"

"We were strong then," it hissed. "We had it all. But now you _hide_ from me."

_You must finally accept that they happened, and that you cannot change them._ _You must_ forgive _._

_She never said who. And the first two had one person in common._

_This isn't about forgiving Gamora._

_Well, not entirely. But I'll deal with that later._

Loki yanked his leg up and _kicked,_ hitting the doppelganger right in the side. He rolled off, the memory flickering. Loki leapt up, picking him up by the shoulders and slamming him into the wall. He pinned his forearm against his throat, silencing him.

"Not anymore," he panted. "I did things. I did terrible, awful things, and I did them to people I love. But that was the _past_. And now I'm a brother, a husband, a friend, a _Guardian_. And I will spend my entire life trying to make up for all the pain and death I caused. But I'm done hating myself for it."

The memory melted, patches of the cabin appearing and sticking around this time.

"When we get back to Earth, I'm going to tell Thor. And he's going to believe me. And yes, he might be disappointed that I hid something that significant from him, but you know what? He's still going to love me. Just like I'm going to tell Gamora that anything she does now means more to me than everything she did back then.

"You and I, we're two halves of a whole," Loki went on. "You can't exist without me, and I wouldn't exist without you. That will never change, not after what we did. But for all these years, I've let you enrage me, scare me, shame me into attacking and hiding and pushing everybody away. But now… Now, this is me saying, once and for all, that _you will never control me again_."

Loki grabbed the doppelganger's hair and punched himself in the face.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. The final chapter. Thank you to everyone who's stuck around this long! I hope it's been a good read.

Loki surged upright with a gasp, a bucket appearing in his lap courtesy of Ik just in time for him to hurl his guts into it, Mantis's hand flying to his hand instead of his head. Gamora held his hair back while Peter braced him. As he finished, Ik showing up to snatch his bucket back and briskly clean off his face, Mantis started to let go.

But Loki grabbed her hand, holding her in place. "That rage," he rasped. "Was that you?"

She nodded, eyes wide. "I hope it did not-"

"Thank you," he interrupted gently, interlacing their fingers. She beamed, antennae glowing proudly as she shared some of the happiness with him. Smiling, he leaned against Gamora, and after a startled hesitation, she wrapped her arms around him, tucking his head beneath her chin.

"I am Groot?" he asked in hopeful concern.

"Yeah, does this mean you remember?" Peter said.

In response, Loki held out his fist. Peter returned the gesture, a grin breaking across his face. Groot clapped, and even Drax and Rocket sagged a little in relief.

"So sweet," Ik said, waving his hand at the most cluttered corner of the cabin. The items disappeared, an arch appearing in the wall. Outside, a straight, wide path through the garden and trees opened up. "That will take you to your ship. Now shoo. Visitors once a century is enough for me."

"Someone carry me," Loki moaned.

"How about Drax?" Rocket snickered. "Bridal style?"

"Sounds good to me," Peter agreed brightly.

"No. No, no, that's all right," Loki said quickly, swinging his legs off the table. Mantis and Gamora steadied him, but he found himself caring more about their warmth than their support.

Ik grabbed the coat Peter had draped over a chair and tossed it over Loki, ignoring the human's protest. "Keep him warm," Ik ordered, adjusting Gamora's grip to pin the coat in place. "And do not be surprised if he does little but sleep for a few days."

"I'm right here, you know," Loki muttered.

Gamora shook her head in affectionate exasperation. "Thank you, Ik. We won't forget this."

"Yes, yes, very nice of you. Now _shoo_."

"Come on," Peter said, beginning to leave but pausing to make sure Loki kept up. "Let's go home."

\-----

Loki sat at the table, wrapped in both of his coats, one of Peter's, and three blankets. Still, he clutched a cup of tea in one hand, having no real intention to drink it, rather just embracing its warmth. His cheek rested on his other hand, holding him up to look at the screen.

_"So you didn't fake your death,"_ Thor said slowly. _"You really… you really were hurt?"_

Loki nodded, drawing one leg up to alleviate the phantom pain in his torso. "Badly."

Thor buried his face in his hands. _"And I_ left _you there."_

"You didn't know, Thor. You were hurt too, and you said you were crying, so you were probably shaking, so it's entirely possible you just missed whatever pulse I had left."

_"That doesn't change the fact that I- When did you last sleep?"_

Loki smothered his yawn. "It's been a few hours."

Thor scrubbed a hand through his hair. _"All right, you rest. When you get back, I'm hugging you to death."_

"Uh, no, no, that's not necessary-"

_"Nonsense,"_ Val chimed in, leaning into frame. _"I will take any opportunity watch you try to squirm away from him."_

Loki pursed his lips. "I feel the love."

Ramonda leaned into frame, glancing over him. _"Are you sure you're warm enough?"_

"I'm wearing a sweatshirt, three layers of leather, and the three best blankets on the ship," he said, not without affection. "I won't freeze."

_"That is what T'Challa says,"_ Ramonda pointed out. _"And he is often wrong."_

"Yes, well, I believe I understand freezing slightly better than the rest of you," Loki joked, stifling another yawn.

A new weight settled around his back, twiggy arms wrapped around him. "I am Groot!"

"And apparently I'm a tree hugger," he added, patting Groot's hands. "Thank you, Groot."

_"I think he's the tree hugger, actually,"_ Thor said.

"Groot, I said _bring_ him another blanket, not _be_ another blanket," Rocket groaned, tugging the teen away. He tossed a blanket on in Groot's place, hopping onto the chair beside Loki to adjust it.

"I have finished preparing the broth," Drax announced, setting down a bowl of steaming food.

"Thank you," Loki said, thankful that his appetite at least had been unaffected by this whole mess. Drax watched, unblinking, as Loki tasted the first spoonful. He smiled, flashing a thumbs-up. "Delicious."

Drax clapped Loki's shoulder. "You are a smart man. It was a favorite of Hovat's."

"I can see why," Loki said, picking up another spoonful.

"No, you can _taste_ why," Drax corrected.

"…Yes. That."

_"Perhaps we should end this call?"_ Ramonda suggested, smiling softly.

_"I just want to- are you_ sure _you remember everything, Loki?"_ Thor checked.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes, Thor, I remember that time a year ago when you decided to try-"

_"Yeah, he's fine. See you on Earth!"_ Thor said quickly, the screen going black almost before he finished, but not _quite_ before Loki heard Val start demanding to know what Loki had almost said. Loki smirked, already eager to see the fallout when they reached Earth. That would make the impending bone-crushing hug worthwhile.

Drax pressed his hand to Loki's forehead, bending down to peer into Loki's eye. "Are you certain you are all right? You are quite chilled."

Loki batted him away. "I appreciate the concern, Drax, but honestly, I'm fine."

Drax leaned back, but quietly admitted, "I just do not wish to lose you. It took much effort to rescue you, after all."

Loki chuckled. "What did the three of you do to find us, anyway?"

"Nothing we are ever speaking about again," Rocket stated with a shudder. At Loki's narrowing eyes, he added, "Nothing you wouldn't have approved of, either, Cow Lord. And _that_ is the clearest answer you're ever gonna get."

"Fair enough," Loki said. "Thank you for doing… whatever it is you won't speak of."

"I am Groot," he explained.

Loki choked on the broth while Rocket smacked Groot upside the head. "You spent the day in the stall of a public restroom? All three of you?"

"Ugh, that's _disgusting,_ " Peter said, coming downstairs, followed by Gamora and Mantis.

"Agreed, but you idiots had to go and get yourselves captured," Rocket retorted, "therefore making it entirely necessary for us smarter ones to huddle in a bathroom!"

"I am Groot!" Groot agreed. Immediately before nibbling a leaf on his shoulder.

Rocket's shoulders slumped. "Every damn time…"

He walked off to take over piloting, tugging the teen with him. Drax followed them with a shrug, probably to sit down and start snoring two minutes later. Gamora and Mantis moved deeper into the ship. Peter plopped down beside Loki, peering at the broth.

"Drax's?"

"Yes."

"Is it actually good?"

"Yes, actually."

"What's in it?"

"I've made it my policy not to ask."

"That's probably smart," Peter said, dipping one fingertip into the broth and licking it clean. "Damn, that is good."

"Listen," Loki said after a moment, setting his spoon down, "I shouldn't have gone on the mission. You were right."

"Ooo, say that again."

Loki pursed his lips.

"Right, you were going for a heartfelt moment, sorry," Peter amended quickly. "And no, you shouldn't have gone. But I also should've made you stay. And it's their faults for deciding to capture us. So, really, you should only get about twenty percent of the blame here."

"None for Nova Prime? You chewed her out quite readily. And unfairly, some might say."

Peter scratched behind his ear. "Yeah, I do owe her a bit of an apology, I guess. There's no way she can remember _every_ criminal all of us have histories with. But she is our only real backup out here, and I think I got the point about that across quite nicely."

"That you did," Loki said.

Peter gestured at Loki's head. "What happened in there, anyway? You were having some pretty intense reactions."

Loki shrugged. "Just facing my worst memories, punching myself in the face… As one does."

Peter considered that for a moment, mouth open as he decided what say. Ultimately, he settled on, "We've done weirder."

"Yes," Loki muttered, "we definitely have."

He yawned, and Peter clapped him on the shoulder. "You should get to bed, buddy."

"Definitely," Loki agreed around another yawn. The moment he started to stand, his blankets started slipping off, and he froze. "Help."

"Dude, you can live without these for the walk to your room," Peter complained even as he caught them.

"I'm _cold_."

Peter arched an eyebrow. "You realize how ironic this is, right, Mr. Let's Freeze Everyone Else On The Ship?"

"I won't lower the temperature again, just _hold the blankets._ "

"Never?" Peter checked, pushing Loki back down as he tried to stand.

"Yes, never!"

"Sweet," Peter said, finally letting Loki rise. Once Loki was curled up on his bed, boots and all, he dropped them. "You good?"

"Can you ask Gamora to come here?" he asked from beneath the blankets. "I need to talk to her."

"Yeah, sure. Good night, Loki." Peter paused, the doorway creaking as he leaned on it. "I'd say don't let the bed bugs bite, but I don't think they can actually get to you."

"Even better. Good night, Peter."

\-----

Gamora leaned into Loki's room, not seeing him at first. "Loki?"

The blankets rustled, and a moment later, his head popped out, hair disheveled and eyes half-shut. "Oh, hi, Gamora," he said, pushing himself upright.

"I can come back tomorrow-"

"No, I want… I want to do this now."

"Ok…" Gamora said, perching on the edge of the bed. _Those words are rarely good._

Loki avoided her gaze, picking at his hands. "In that trance, I had to confront my worst memories from recent years. And the third one…"

Gamora winced. "It was me."

"Yes," he answered. "And… no. You showed up, but you weren't the fear. The first two were things I think about almost every day, but yours… I had entirely forgotten it. Which, I suspect, was your intention, seeing as taking care of me could quite easily have gotten you killed."

Gamora ducked her head. "I was hoping you wouldn't remember that."

"Why?"

She sighed, picking up the sketchbook and brushing her fingers over the happy scene. "You're not the only one scared by our actions back then, Loki. We weren't kind to you, but on the occasions where you found the strength and courage, you weren't kind to us either. I suppose, somewhere in the back of my mind, I always find myself waiting for you to snap. To do to me what you did to Beb. And if you didn't remember those times I snuck into your cell, I guess I thought it would make that moment hurt less."

"Why do it in the first place, then?"

Gamora shrugged. "The same reason you saved Jane. The same reason you didn't rule Asgard with a tyrannical fist. It was just that little bit of rebellion against what we were expected to be."

"That's not it."

Gamora turned back to him. "What do you mean?"

"We did those things because Thanos _failed_. Because even when he had direct control over us, we were never entirely what he wanted us to be. When we were visiting Earth, Ramonda more or less guessed that our fear of each other is what bonds us, but after earlier… I don't think so. I think we've bonded because we know that, even though Thanos didn't completely beat us, he still created a darkness within us, a darkness that we let win.

"That darkness will always be there, tempting us to do the unthinkable, and knowing that terrifies us. _That_ was my fear, not you, and it's a fear we share. But seeing in each other a person that beats it back every day, that somehow found a lover and friends and family despite it… That's why we stick together. That's why we fight for each other, even if we're bloody terrified of each other."

Gamora couldn't restrain a weary laugh, hunching onto her elbows as it faded to a sigh. "We've saved each other's lives multiple times in the last few years, and yet we still cannot put the past behind us."

He reached out hesitantly, chilled fingers resting on her arm. "Let's change that."

She bit her lip. "What I did-"

"I forgive you," he interrupted, gentle but firm.

"Why?" she asked bitterly. "Because I helped you a couple times when I thought you were too wounded to remember?"

He shook his head. "Because you're like my sister. Because you've protected me since the beginning, even from myself, even when I was a stranger, even when it could have gotten you killed. Because even when our guards are up, we laugh together, we mess with each other, and we carry the others home when they get drunk. I forgive you because we're a team, you and I, a team who has fought through a hell of a lot to get here, and I don't want to lose that because we were trying to survive."

"You really mean that?" Gamora whispered.

Loki paused, as if searching for words, but ultimately leaned in, brushing a kiss against her forehead. She smiled softly, warmth radiating from the brief gesture. "I do," he murmured, pulling back.

Gamora swiped at a tear threatening to fall. "You should do this more often."

Loki gave an amused huff, running a hand through his hair. "I have a reputation to uphold, Gamora."

"Would a hug ruin that reputation, Prince?" she teased. "Because you feel awfully cold."

"Hug me," he pleaded.

She smiled, already tucking him against her, setting the sketchbook back on the nightstand and slipping under the covers. He snuggled against her, asleep in moments. Gamora tucked the blankets more securely around him, covering his vulnerable form as best she could. And for a little while, she just watched over him as he slumbered with ease. Trusting her without question.

"And when you wake, we'll both know who we are," she murmured, echoing the answer she had given him a lifetime ago. Yet, it wasn't an echo, for it had changed in every way imaginable. Where once it was a promise of darkness, now it promised a far brighter future than either one had dared hope for back in that cell. A promise both could finally, truly make to the other.

"Thank you… brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just another, final thank you to all of you!


End file.
